The polytunnel is looking a bit of a mess and nothing is growing.
There's only one solution... I need a montage!!! ![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmWqLKrMDGpRRNym6GsZcFpkJA448HMSEvR1MoEqNRuwqL/image.png)
^{Here we see the dumping ground in it's natural state} So I'm not quite ready to do an introduction post yet, that's going to need a whole lot more back story and collecting of information but I can start out with a little project. First confession is that this year, other than the perennials, we haven't grown anything. We have some herbs, a small bay tree and some rhubarb but outside of that we've been too busy with work or some slightly more major renovations (inside and out). So the first job, with the two little helpers (11 and 3) was to clear out the weeds from the end of the tunnel. The back does open but it opens out to a solid wood fence. Trying to lift as many roots as possible we pulled out every spec of green for at least 2 full sections (out of 6) then hoed and raked over for good measure. For such a small area we still filled a large tote with weeds and I know there are still a couple of big doc roots down there somewhere, those things go for days! If I were more organised I'd have photos along the way but I was pushing to get this done and @scarletleonard, my long suffering wife and partner in pseudo-homesteading, was cooking dinner (another reason to hurry!) so you'll have to wait for the completed article (or cheat and scroll down!). The next task was to lay some membrane down. I actually ran out and instead of 2 rows deep I got 1.5. We cut the second strip in half longways as it was just over half the required length. Luckily this was enough to cover the ground under all 4 feet of "the bench". Special mention to "the bench". I hate bending over while I work. I despise washing dishes, not because it's a horrible chore but because the kitchen sink is about 3 inches too low for my back so I have to stoop slightly. Over time this is agony. This bench is high up, cut to the perfect height, because it started life MUCH higher up. It started life as a child's cabin bed! I cut ~18" off each leg and I can now reach all the way across it without dipping or stooping. The bench itself is coated wire mesh, which the mattress would have sat on, so all the dirt and water will pass through. The back and sides have 3 rails for me to hang things on, sturdy ones, strong enough to stop a child falling out of bed! And it's DEEP. It's a single mattress width deep meaning I can fit lots on there, I can line the back of the bench with useful things and still have space to work. As you can tell, I'm rather proud of it :) So anyway, dragging the bench across was a bit of a task. The legs are hollow (will need solving soon) and so sink into the dirt and most of the containers sat on it were full of water. Yes, I should have taken them down but us men don't think of things like that, we just go full brute strength and ignorance (and hospital traction). So now I'll let you see the completed article before talking your ear off some more... ![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmQKAtbyKKBRASTFH7XFUSj4GjjHHrQk7qACSrKAwSdaAT/image.png)
^{Ta-da! Looks almost organised!} So now onto the tricky bit. The "I didn't mention"s and the "What comes next"s. Well first up, the polytunnel has some issues. The containers on the bench were full of water because... the tunnel leaks. We have a cat, next door has 2 cats, they all love to walk along the top of the tunnel. Add to that the UV affect on the plastic and it's not good (it wasn't a cheap cover so I'm not impressed it's dying to the sun so quickly - just over 1 year). So how do we fix that? Well, I could put a liner inside, under the current one using it as just a mesh to hold it on, but the cats would tear that up too. I can't think of a way to keep the cats off without hurting them, driving out cat away or blocking out the incoming light... I'm open to suggestions! Next on the horizon is clearing the rest of the tunnel and digging over some beds down either side. The tunnel is 6m x 3m so it's tempting to run a bed down the center too. If you look really close, just behind the compost bag on the left in the first picture there's a tomato plant, a volunteer from last year. It's actually a Praxxus Cherry tomato, of Praxxus55712 fame - https://www.youtube.com/user/Praxxus55712, all the way from Iowa (I forgot to mention, we're in the UK). The aim is to get some quick crops growing, some mixed salad greens, radish, beetroot before the warm weather fades (warm weather? It's pissed it down all week!) and then get our over-wintering crops sorted. Hopefully by then we'll have the main beds outside the tunnel ready for planting. Stay tuned for more!

Stewart & Scarlet Not Quite A Farm All photographs are taken by and property of Not Quite A Farm unless otherwise stated. Please ask before using them. _{If you would like to design a signature for us we'd love that. Please let us know and we'll promote anyone who sends us one (whether we use it or not!)} _{We'd also love to join any gardening, homesteading or similar groups, circles, evil-covens :P}