Thank you Steemit! You have gotten me started making art again. I will post a better picture next week when I am off work. I get bogged down at times by my ability to contribute significantly to what I view as "happening" in the world... and then I get honeyfuggled into thinking my art contribution is insignificant in the face of the machine rolling steadily toward me. But that is an illusion. I am a vibrant instrument of Natural Law/God. I participate in a life to the fullest that I am able moment-to-moment and making art keeps a channel open - once I open the art channel, shutting it down is detrimental to me and others - because it is still open receiving and I am just not in the "flow" - therefore it becomes clogged. I guess I take myself too seriously or I take the world too seriously and then I think my contribution is nothing and I start to look at myself and my life as a waste. I say "why am I working at a big corporation? how did I get HERE? I have a Masters Degree - WTF? And I spiral into the weight of the world on my shoulders...I don't see actually where I came from and how far I have come from that and how I am exactly where I am supposed to be... I start to envy other people, I begin to connive to get something more than I have, I become fearful ... filled with fear of financial insecurity... I look at my nieces and nephews - mostly ivy league graduates with families and high-powered jobs - I see on Facebook - and I want to curl up into a ball and die.
It's the lie. All I have is this moment. God, how may I be of service to You right now? In big box store, are there opportunities to develop relationships with my co-workers by which I can share the truth, eventually? My showing up for my shift, week after week, builds confidence in me as a person for them. Not that we are "close" by any means - and it is alarmingly difficult to actually "get to know" anyone at big box store - as well as - is it wise? We have to work together... there is plenty of gossip flying around if I want to listen to it... and there are people who meet one another there and get married - so cute - and unbelievable. I have met only the sound asleep in my coworkers -
a guy recently got fired for having a concealed carry firearm in his locker. Apparently we all signed a document saying we would leave all weapons home. This guy is an Iraq vet. He is in gunsmithing school - and he has the concealed carry permit (which I don't actually want - cuz I don't want record of me in the system) but he carries - so - his supervisor did not like him and snitched - and he got fired. I admire him somewhat because he is in gunsmithing school - but he seemed pretty oblivious to the actual threats to freedom - as a vet... which is always baffling to me.
Interesting how big box corp's rules over-ride our constitutional rights - but it's because they go unchallenged - because nobody cares - everybody was talking about it and said - everyone leaves their guns in their cars - WOW! That's even more dangerous - and so rediculous. I think Mark Passio is right - we are COWARDS. But how is this so? I think it has to do with having machines that wipe our ass - we don't have to go out and shoot food everyday. We don't carry guns. Most people don't know how to shoot them. It's considered "uncivilized" to "need" a gun anymore. My N. California resident family all thinks "guns" are from the dark ages - "we are all Yale educated - therefore we have evolved passed the need to carry weapons" is the vibe-tone -
I got one of these off the internet - of course they are deleted from CL - but I saw one in a Toronto CL for Crisis Actors for Colorado for just after the "election" - if we were all carrying - these false flags and completely fabricated false flags with actors would be null and void.
The Batman Movie false flag was real because my friend's friend was killed in that attack and my friend had schrapnel in her leg and lost teeth from bullet wounds in that event but maybe they are getting more sophisticated?
But WHO would act in those? What kind of psychopathic maniac would play a role in acting out a false flag attack? Wow.
I guess that is the conclusion of my story - I play a role here - because I am not on any medication, not taking the edge off with dope or pills or booze, and I am out here IN the midst of it - praying my ass off - and I make art. I guess that I probably asked to be here during this time we are in - I have a very difficult path in many respects - but I have to turn away from everything I don't "have" that big brother has told me I need to have in order to be ok - and I have to just keep plugging along in faith - and expressing myself daily through art is part of that...
Gotta go to work -