Feeling horrible one day and feeling ok the next has become the story of my life. People from my past and present are constantly there to support me with kind words and good advice and I really feel fortunate that this is the case. Nonetheless there is no quick solution to how I feel. Tomorrow Im riding along at work ( doing an excursion with another tour guide ) to get caught up on this years changes hopefully I will feel capable and be able to begin working as soon as possible and with any luck this can be the distraction I need to focus on the future and stop lingering on the past. Hearing nightmare stories about how years after a divorce has been settled problems still exist doesnt really help either. The fact remains is that to overcome my adicction I seem to feel that the person who I need the most is precisely the one that chose to end this relationship. Im hurting in a horrible way and wish for nothing else than to overcome this grieving period and regain my self esteem especially for the sake of my children. I feel like a big baby and I know that I need to start to act like a grown up and face reality. Looking back at things when other friends went through divorce I never really understood what they were going through until know and for that I am sorry. Life is short and I want to make the best of it regardless of what I have lost, I am still only 38 years old and I feel like I have much to offer. I want to regain my passion for living and the things that I loved like cryptocurrencies and promoting tolerance amongst others.
This post may seem a little abstract but I just needed to write something and get this off my chest. Im going to try and get some rest before my day out with the bus tomorrow now, feedback and suggestions on how to get past this dificult moment apreciated as always.
Good night
