This weekend was "Mom's Weekend" at school and, after sharing the whole weekend with my mom for one of the first times since I started college...
I realized how much I love my mom.
My relationship with my mom is one wrought with tension and cumbersome annoyance.
She nags at me about the big things such as my future down to non sequiturs such as the number of unmated socks in my drawers. Our personalities are too different yet all too similar, making us a perfectly incompatible pair.
(Here's her barging in backstage while I'm stage managing...)
But despite all this, my relationship with my mom is one of compassion and resilience.
We made it through my childhood vulnerabilities, pre-pubescent angst, post-pubescent stupidity, and a consistently forced sense of independence. She not only loved me through it all, but was there for me even when I couldn't be there for her.
(When she surprised me with tickets to Hamilton!)
This weekend, I realized how proud I am that I have the mom that I have.
She did as she always did, ruling the conversation of the table and making everyone feel loved. She wasn't afraid to be politically incorrect, talked about necessary changes, and probably ended up changing some lives in the process. Even the time spent just us was worthwhile; we talked about everything and didn't fight once.
(She calls this pose: "sass in the ass")
One reason we didn't fight was that I made the effort to make her feel important. Typically I just use my mom as my own personal therapist and scapegoat. But this weekend I let go of my problems, my defensiveness, and my stress to just take care of her. Like I would typically justify our fights as her fault, but once I actually upheld my part of our relationship for once, it made our relationship so much stronger.
In many ways, the struggles I've had with my mom have made our relationship all the better. We didn't abandon each other amidst the pain of our lives, but kept fighting with each other in hopes for better days. She challenged me to be a better person and because of our fights and her love, I was able to grow up enough to appreciate her.