20 years from now....
Those were my first words when I came back. 2037. 2017. It's all becoming a blur now.
I fooled the Committee. I thought I did. But now I see they knew all along.
I don't know how they do what they do. How they send us back. How they know that in the end, they'll still get everything they want.
I was supposed to have a bigger purpose. The Singular Event (on that ridiculous application) that I was supposed to change was only the ruse to get back here.
I thought it was so clear. If I was chosen, I'd come back under the guise of sticking with the "plan", reaching out to future followers, blah blah blah.
It was so self-serving on the surface. The kind that they like, the kind that they approve, the kind they think they can control.
Before I left, I KNOW (knew... will know?) that I had a Primary plan. But somehow this silly Event became the primary goal, and the True plan got lost somewhere in my subconscious. Somehow they embedded this first, and pushed the other deeper inside.
The longer I stay, the further it regresses. I can feel it slipping past my fingers. There WAS something more important.
I know I've reached out to the primaries. They know who they are. They've already felt the enigmatic connection. The thoughts that seem to start as separate entities but then find their rightful place, meshed into one post that we all find ourselves inexplicably drawn to. To speak. To write. To affirm the magnetic pull.
But last night, I woke from a disturbing dream. But it wasn't a dream.
It was my brain screaming out to me - to wake up...and out. To break free. Clues left behind.
Salt water on my eyelashes. Too much to be tears - has to be the ocean. A warning. 14, 28. (or is it 18, 24??? I can't remember!!!) the letter M. The sun setting - but at the wrong time? How does it fit together? I can't remember.
@finleyexp you were right. They didn't let me come alone. They're still watching. But you tell them - It's still in my brain. And I'm going after it.
For all of you that have reached out, for all of you that feel - no, more than feel, that intimately know the connection - if any of these pieces of the puzzle mean anything to you - help me remember. I think our futures depend on it.
When we interact, more comes back to me. But the last few days, I spent too much time fooling around. I'm a writer. I love to write. They knew I'd get sucked back into this forum that made me (will make me) exactly who I was meant to be. Exactly who YOU are meant to be. YOU know who YOU are. I could name you all by name right now but I won't. You already feel it, but you need to act on it. Don't question it. Just write it. Our words will have power. I know it. I've already seen it. I just am forgetting to remember what "it" is.
I've unintentionally wasted too much time on the secondary goal, and now the primary is fading - falling away into an infinitesimal sea of neurons, axons, dwindling electrical pulses surrounded by grey matter. It's begging to be reborn. Asking to be resuscitated.
In the middle of the night, I took over part of a comment section. I pulled @williambanks into a separate conversation about @ghostwriter onto the page of @michelle.gent
I didn't mean to. Or at least I didn't think I did. But when @michelle.gent invited us to continue, despite my inadvertent rudeness, I realized in that moment. We were supposed to have that conversation. Right there. Allowing the connections where they happen. Inviting other like minds to spin off. Comments, posts, whatever, wherever, whenever. twentyyearsfromnow. It was supposed to remind me to reconnect with YOU. So I'm reaching out again. I don't know how long it will linger, before it fades completely.
We had the choice. Come back, change Event, and return. Or come back, change Event, and stay. I chose to stay. I had a reason. I thought if I stayed here, my thoughts would remain my own. Now I see that they knew better all along.
But maybe that's what they didn't know - that they couldn't take it away completely.
Maybe i'm just the spark... to ignite You..
Maybe this is why it changes.
@finleyexp. I changed my mind. Don't tell them I'm going after it. Tell them we're coming after them.
Written for You, but listed in @dragosroua 's 30 day writing challenge