If you missed out on part 1 you can read it here
To read chapter one click here
Prologue (part 2 of 2)
Lissa turned over on her side in bed and stared at the wall trying desperately to banish the memories. Failing. As usual, she had to play it out until its bitter conclusion...
After she’d totally sold him out, telling everyone she knew that he’d slipped something into her drink, that once again he’d tried to take advantage of her; after she’d made him a pariah at school and he’d moved out of the house and never returned for senior year then basically disappeared; after all of that she had turned her back on the very people she had thought were so goddamned important that it was worth selling him out for in the first place. Following the same path he had, taking so many drugs that she didn’t know who she was anymore, and dropping out of school in the middle of her senior year in favor of continuing on that track with the justification that she was trying to find him, to make things right.
And she did find him. Two years after the drugs had taken a hold of her soul she’d stumbled onto him accidentally at a house that even the law gave a wide berth. He hadn’t reached out for her that time. He’d taken one look at her in her fucked all to hell state and graced her with the cruelest smile she’d ever witnessed before or since, saying things that crushed her beneath the weight of malice within them. She’d still attempted to apologize, stumbling and stammering her way through it, and he’d smiled in a way that made her think of razor wire, his eyes condemning her as surely as his next words had. “You want forgiveness? Get on your knees and beg for it. And while your down there, suck on this.” She remembered it so clearly, him grabbing a hold of himself, his expression mocking. “Then we’ll talk about forgiveness.”
Lissa hugged herself tightly as she re-focused on the present, staring at the faded blue wall. She’d deserved every bit of his anger and hate. Every bit. And in all honesty, if she’d believed it would’ve healed him, healed them, she would have done anything he wanted. Perhaps she should have instead of stumbling away from him, fleeing as the tears ran down her face.
She blinked her eyes feeling the sting of those tears now and forced herself to push the thoughts away. To focus on the here and now. Twenty eight hundred and eighty dollars at last count, all she needed was another one-twenty and she was out of here. Out of this place, onto something different, something good. She was only twenty-four for fuck’s sake, it’s not as if she’d wasted her whole life. In truth it had just begun, and starting in about a week she would begin living it. She finally drifted to sleep, her hand curled to a fist in a symbolic statement of her determination.
-*****-
Make amends, what a crock of shit. Caleb turned over on his stomach, moving around on the lumpy mattress until he found a reasonably comfortable spot and pulled the equally lumpy pillow over the back of his head, willing himself to sleep. But it wouldn’t come. It was the anticipation of the coming morning, the freedom that had been taken from him six months earlier would finally be restored. He hated that his mind kept circling that step from a program that had failed to break him, to capture him. Sleep, he silently commanded. But it didn’t come. Instead a memory flashed across his mind’s eye and though he usually blocked all thoughts of her violently, he found he was too tired to fight it. So he gave himself up to it, letting the years rewind to the last time he’d cared about anything. Anything at all.
“Come on,” he grabbed her hand and they ran through the field as the rain came down harder, bursting through the doors of the old barn just as the first rumble of thunder shook the ground followed by a sharp crack and the smell of ozone.
“Whew, that was close,” Lissa laughed nervously.
Caleb grinned as they watched lightning zigzag across the sky through the open doors. He loved the dangerous unpredictable elements of nature. He glanced sideways at his companion, musing at how different they were in that way. She shared his love of the outdoors but gravitated toward the serene aspects of it, such as a field of wildflowers in spring or a gurgling brook in the middle of a quiet patch of woods. She was the one slice of peace in the storm that raged within.
She glanced up at him and cocked her head to the side.
“You really love this, don’t you?” She asked, her tone lightly accusing.
He nodded and grabbed her hand again, kicking the doors shut with his foot and pulling her farther into the structure, the smell of moldy hay and a hint of decayed manure assaulting his senses. He wrinkled his nose briefly as he accustomed himself to the pungent aroma, a wave of nostalgia suddenly overtaking him. It was their place, his and hers, this smelly old barn. A place of solace in the turmoil of their life, a place they’d been coming to for eight years to escape the explosive relationship between his father and her mother. The kids in school thought of them as brother and sister since they’d lived together for half of their lives, but recently it bothered him. Actually it had bothered him for several years now. Because when he looked at the pretty brunette with the sea green eyes, his feelings ran a much different course then brotherly love. Particularly in the darkness of his room in the middle of the night when images of her drove his hand beneath his waistband.
They climbed the old ladder into the loft they’d cleaned out years ago, transforming it into a clubhouse. It consisted of an ancient flowered throw rug, a couch they had made with old tires and cushions, a cd player, a rickety old coffee table, two bean bag chairs and a book shelf filled to the top with board games, candles, flashlights, markers and crayons, assorted nick knacks, and of course, books.
“So school in three days,” Lissa stated, plopping down on the couch.
Caleb frowned, hating the reminder. Summers were his. The rest of the year belonged to petty giggling girls in short skirts, and obnoxious jocks in shoulder pads or sneakers depending on the time of year. To say they did not travel in the same social circles was a gross understatement. Her pretty face and social personality had guaranteed her a place in the coveted elite group right from the start, while thick glasses and a mouth full of metal had placed him with the geeks-at least until the last couple of years when Lasik surgery and the removal of his braces had revealed a fairly handsome face, and a growth spurt along with the purchase of a weight set had transformed his puny body into something to look at. Unfortunately a bad attitude prone to letting his fists override his intelligence along with his very definite opinions about conformists had pushed him towards the “outlaws” rather than in with her friends. Not that this bothered him on most levels, he couldn’t stand the shallow bitches and entitled douchebags that comprised her social network, but it did present a problem for their personal relationship. To her credit she never treated him poorly, defending him instead, which she was able to get away with due to their nearly sibling ties…
Caleb’s eyes popped open, his hands gripping the pillow so hard his fingers creaked as he opened them. He’d actually drifted from memory into a dream, and for a moment it was almost as if he’d been back there…Never treated him poorly, well that had fucking changed, hadn’t it, he thought bitterly. He pressed his forehead into the mattress, tempted to scream as the familiar fury swept through him. He rode it out, breathing heavily enough to leave moisture on the worn white sheet. Why the fuck had she come to mind at the thought of “making amends”? She had nothing to do with his current life or situation. She was the past, and that’s where she would remain.
Logo made by the incredibly awesome @papa-pepper