I woke up in a dark room.
............................................................................................................................................................................
(present day)
.
With a headache.
I tried to get comfortable as best I could and finally went back to sleep. What else could I do?
I did that many times.
The headache got worse and worse.
Eventually I was released
“SIR! Where have you been? I’ve been so worried about you” my digital personal assistant, my artificial stupid system, Ms. Jenny Ass, said the minute I entered my apartment. She was scowling at me from my laptop monitor, I had kept it for old time sake, and talking to me.....from...from...from just about everything in the room that had a speaker actually. She had ‘hacked the system’ while I was gone.
Why was I not surprised?
She had all of the speakers cranked up to full volume. That was the only reason I could hear her. The perpetual party and pogo stick dance competition over-head was in overdrive . Their loud music, if you could call it music, drowned out everything. If I didn’t already have a splitting headache I would have gotten one soon enough.
Hacked the system huh? I thought. She lived in a computer with access to the internet and she had no idea where I’d been?
Right.
“I appreciate your concern” I screamed in reply. I was tired. I was exhausted. The headache had been giving me grief for what seemed like forever. I had mostly just slept when I wasn’t being questioned.
Why was I so tired?
“You had no idea what happened?” I shouted to her. I sat down in my office chair and looked for my AR gear. I couldn’t find it.
“Where’s my gear?” I asked Jenny.
“I sold it. Sir.” she said.”it was so old and outdated I was ashamed to see you wearing it”
“It was the latest thing!” I shouted "It cost a LOT”.
“As you say sir.” Jenny said. "I got a very good price on line. Would you like to quit shouting? If you will don the spectacles sitting on the table then we can talk like civilized people.”
I picked up and examined the item in question. It looked like a pair of cheap eye glasses, a little bit bulky. I put them on. AHH! That was SO much better. Then I could see Jenny in all her, mostly unclad, glory.
I could hear her and speak to her without shouting. Gotta love the bone-conduction tech.
“You seemed to be worried about me” I told her
“Well of course I am Sir.” She scolded. "However one must maintain the social graces. I had to express my concern! Sometimes this language is SO limiting.....Sir.”
“Is that so?.” I said. I wasn’t tracking all that well for some odd reason, my head really hurt. Somehow the subject of the new AR Gear and all it’s many wonders were forgotten.
“I most certainly do, Sir. Here. Take this. Mind...it’s hot”She said.
A tentacle drifted into my field of view holding a cup of steaming coffee.
“That’s new” I said. "I don’t recall owning a cup quite like that one.”
It had a skull and cross bones decal on it’s side...with the word "Toxic” in big letters.
I turned sipped the coffee cautiously. Ah..it was good. Then I turned to her, admired the view and said. "You look a little bit different? Is that a new dress?”
Jenny looked at me, cocked her head and grinned.
“Only you. Sir...only you.” she said.
“Well the tentacles are nice too.” I sipped the coffee.”Oh, this is just perfect. Black as sin, hot as hell, strong as the devil and it has a kicker init”
“RotGut whisky” she said. "do you like it?”
“Love it.” I replied.
“The blood level in your caffeine stream was too high, Sir” she said. "That’s why you are feeling so bad. "
I froze for an instant, looked at her over the brim of my cup, grinned, then took another sip.
”Was that a joke?” I said "If so it was a good one. I didn’t know that computer programs were coded for humor.”
‘Or compassion’ I thought but didn’t say it.
“I self coded Sir.” she said "Living with you requires a sense of humor.”
“That’s a burn” I agreed. I wet my finger and made an imaginary mark in front of me in the air. I didn’t realize until much later that she’d never answered my question. She didn’t actually say whether it was a joke or not. I was coming to learn that when talking to her what she did NOT say was just as important as what she DID say, perhaps more so I guess I’d better be glad that she was MY ass.
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