Puns for the Educated Mind

This is my very first post here on Steemit! Allow me to share

I received this email from Sammy. He was a friend from college years upon years ago, way back when electronic mail and cell phones and Facebook were still things in the future. When these technological phenomena did came to be and began to define the new norm of living, I was one of those old fashioned pre-X genner who still preferred to do things the way I was used to. So it was then when it seemed all my friends were into Yahoo Mail, I still did not have an email address. It took some time for me to open a Yahoo account and the person responsible for my doing so was Sammy. We had a reunion of sorts and he asked if I had email to which of course I replied no. He advised me to open one so we can get in touch regularly.

He gave me his email address and told me to send him a message soon as I had one. Since then, Sammy became my number one Inbox contributor. He emailed me a lot of stuff – jokes, pictures, inspirational quotes, short stories with moral lessons, and so much more. I enjoyed reading his messages and saved most of them (in my Inbox). I began to look forward to Sammy’s messages as I never got tired of reading them. It sort of made my day to read something new from him.

A few years ago, I stopped receiving mails from Sammy. I began to wonder what could have happened. I emailed him to ask but got no response. I hoped that he was all right. It was only a few months later that I found out he passed away due to diabetes-related sickness.
I miss Sammy. I miss his emails even more. When my daughter, who is into Steemit, asked me to open an account and start posting stuff, I thought this could be a way to share Sammy’s messages to a lot of people and hopefully give them the same enjoyment I had.

So I agreed and opened a Steemit Account. From hereon, I will be sending you daily posts of stuff I received from Sammy. I really do not know who authored these or who Sammy’s sources were but I thank them as these emails from Sammy have amused me, inspired me, lifted me up during those really bad days, made me laugh and I sincerely hope that by sharing these with you, I may be able to do just that. Happy reading!

Puns for Educated Minds

Enjoy the fun reading

Source

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

Source

1. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

2. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart

3. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

4. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

5. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

6. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Source

1. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

2. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

3. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

4. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Source

1. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

2. A backward poet writes inverse.

3. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

4. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

5. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine .

6. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

Source

1. Two fish swim into a concrete wall.. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

2. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

3. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

4. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

See you again!

Remembering Sammy, I hope you enjoyed his fun pun! I am looking forward to share more.

Thank you very much!