Well Im packing my things and getting ready to leave the clinic, I shall be returning on a weekly basis for continuted therapy and urine tests to prove that I am not using Cannabis for the next few months. I am not 100% convinced that this is really the best solution but I have accepted this as my new reality.
Today I will move my things into a small room that I have rented and start my new life. Focusing on getting mentally prepared for starting work is my first priority as well as trying to be happy. I just wish there was an easier way to forget about my sorrows but time appears to be the only healthy way to treat my pain.
I wish I was stronger and didn't care so much about my former partner so much, but 14 years is a long time and the dependence that an addict and his partner can develop to one another over such a long period of time is a messy emotional mess especially when there are children are evolved.
Separating Logic from feelings, when your brain is telling you one thing ( Move ahead dont look back its for the best for everybody ) and your heart the oposite ( Having a hard time differentiating love and emotional dependence ) Is pretty damn hard right now.
I just wanted to thank all of you that were constantly writing supportive comments and giving me suggestions on how to overcome this hardship, I was told by people here in the clinic that its silly to post my personal experiences on social media that I should write a private diary and keep it to myself.
Well I disagree and Steemit is diferent than regular social media as far as Im concerned.
BTW today is my third day not smoking cigarettes I feel good about that, but at this stage all the gross stuff is starting to come up....
Love you Steemit!!
