There is something in the music that it's hard to explain. I don't understand why, when I felt sad or happy, the music boosted my emotions. The emotions I was feeling that time became uncontrollable but I just let it flow because the music guided me. I love sad music most of the time because it made me sadder. There are words dictating my brain to cry every time I heard this sad music. I suddenly remember how my passed went by. I missed it even though it just gave me heartache. The regrets and mistakes became fresh into my mind like it just happened yesterday. It's not that I'm happy about it that I wanted to remember. I just wanted to feel it again so I wouldn't do it again.
@ecotrain always have an amazing question every week. There were just questions I found it hard and I couldn't relate that's why I didn't participate. But this week's question is awesome, so I want to participate with it. Every post of mine will be based on my feeling first before I let it go to my brain. When it will enter my brain, I will now start thinking about how to put my feelings into words. Although, it's not that good words because feelings are hard to explain. I know I feel it but not completely can explain it.
I had a girlfriend before that even though she cheated on me. I still beg her to choose me and not that guy. But as what they said, "you can't tell a heart whom to love." After begging many times she still refused my love for her. I was frustrated that time of course. I didn't know what to do my broken heart. I was smiling when I was with friends but when I fell asleep and closed my eyes. My tears started to fall because of my memories of her kept on coming back. The dreams that we both built still in my thoughts. What wAs more painful was knowing that she's in someone's else arms. My heart broke into pieces that I hope I could forget her.
As time passes by felt that pain. I decided to face that heartache. I chose to be alone and often listened to music. I quenched that pain by thinking her all the time. Of course, I couldn't count the litre of tears that shredded. I was hurting myself that way, so I could forget her. I endured breathing heavily because of it. I agreed on it to heal my broken heart like that. It was my intention from the first place. All I need was the time to heal my heart on its own.
I cried and cried with the help of the music. I made sure to drain all the tears only for her. The music comforted me to release all the pain like heavy rain. I abandoned my pride as a man at that time. I didn't mind if my friends saw me cried all the time. I intentionally do it while hoping by doing it I could forget her. After 6 months of feeling down because of her. I utilised to let it my love for her flew like a loosen kite. I moved on and finally confident to live my existence with happiness. I never forget her but the loved for her, yes.
Of course, I can not forget her. She put a scar into my heart. Thanks to the music I overcame the pain like it was nothing now. I frequently listen to music now but because I want to colours my emotions. The music will decide if I'll be sad or I'll be happy. The soothing sensation of the music provides me with peace of mind. I can think clearly and I can show the sentiments of my heart. I may look crazy or exaggerated by others. I don't care because what they saw in my facial expressions are what my heart wanted me to feel.
Thank you for reading
Here's the post of this week's question.
@ecotrain/ecotrain-question-of-the-week-20-launch-post-what-is-is-about-music
d' dreamboy,
@mrnightmare89
