Welcome to my seemingly endless journey.
A trip that will take you to places I might have visited many moons ago.
It´s a tale that came back to me when I meditated on one of my past lives. A life I told you about in my unbelievable true story.
As promised in that story I will now share this story with you.
Chapter 14
Finally, it was time. My imminent departure made this the day I would tell Numico I wasn't taking him with me. Try as I might, there was no bearable way to tell him my decision.
Not telling would make things a lot easier, who was he anyway that I felt obliged to let him know? Maybe it was best not to tell I decided while making my way down the valley.
The sun had risen higher and higher in the sky in recent weeks, winter was over and green shoots sprouted from the trees and plants rose from the earth.
I had taken my bow, just to kill these last couple of hours and hopefully lose myself in practicing so I would not think about tonight.
A loud scream startled me out of my reverie. "Master," I heard. The cry was followed by the sound of running feet.
There was no need to turn around, I recognized that voice out of thousands by now. It was Numico, tears filling the rims under my eyes as I realized what I was actually up to.
How betrayed would he feel if he had learned tomorrow that his master had left without him?
What kind of relationship would I have with him if I didn't tell him the truth?
We were friends, even though it was a kid, he was actually the first friend I had admitted to heart.
I couldn't explain that bond we had, how it lifted across lives and times boundaries, only to reaffirm itself here.
My head fell as if it was drained from blood and my leg even trembled when I finally turned around and looked into the deep blue lakes of Numico's eyes.
Only now do I realize that he was the only blue-eyed member of our tribe since my sister's death. Not that I attach any value to that, but why had I never noticed it before?
The deviant eyes stemmed from generations ago. When the women of the village had been subjected to brutal beatings. Some of the Krotan possessed these bright eyes and enshrined them in the genetic code of my tribe as a reminder of their atrocities.
There was this superstition that those eyes often cam with a special gift or stronger constitution. Probably to indicate to us that this episode in our history had also brought something good.
“Master what are you going to do? “He spoke and I heard his voice crack.
“Congratulations you are taking the first steps of your manhood,” I joked very softly, alluding to the disappointment to come.
Numico looked at me very seriously: "There is something hey master. Are you sick or sad?"
While walking, the boy kept firing questions at me. After a while we passed the stump, the place where we had found each other not so long ago.
I plan to stop at the stump and confess everything, hoping that the memory of this place would soften my words. We kept talking and we reached the edge of the river, at least 500 passes beyond the old tree. It feels a bit stupid to walk back just because I had planned it that way.
A gorge rises right in front of us. A huge stone wall, rough and unstoppable of yellow-brown rock. The river here is wide because of the bend, but this also made it shallow. Ignoring the coldness of the water I wade through and without a word Numico follows.
On the other side, I continue my way, now I realize where we had been led. Not far from here, behind one of the spurs of the gorge, was a cavern that opened into a cave.
Master Oniko took me to this place when I would have to undergo a new initiation, for which we had to be away for several nights. Somehow ending up here made sense the cave would make sure we were safe from anyone following or accidentally noticing us.
In addition, it was a place where I felt comfortable. I had passed many tests here. It was a place where I was in touch with my core. A strength I needed to tell my young friend the truth.
Once through the cavern we enter a large open space with walls that have damp spots here and there and the air has a slight smell of mold. It must have been several years since I was here last. Judging by some carcasses lying around, the space had not remained unused in the meantime.
A wild feline animal must have taken refuge here, or at least that's what the tracks indicate. But the skeletons were so stripped of flesh and entrails that it seems that this animal had not been here for quite some time. Perhaps it has moved on or has had to admit its superior in a fight.
Fortunately, the stone bench where Master Oniko and I used to sit was free of animal remains and, apart from a good layer of dust, even clean.
Numico surveyed the room as I lit some of the torches left behind. The cave was not big, but it was very high. It narrowed further and further until it formed an almost invisible cone far above our heads, which must end just below the surface.
The walls are gleaming here and there with moisture, which gives a sparkling effect in the light of the torches. I sat down and soon Numico joined me. The stone in my stomach immediately got heavier when I inhaled to start my story.
Before I could start my first sentence Numico broke the silence.
"Master, you feel strange. All the way here I have tried to feel what is the matter with you, but you seem to hide it from me. Yet it weighs you down so much that it makes you uncomfortable I don't think that can mean anything other than that you have planned your departure."
He continued in a low voice, trying his best to hide it, but the sadness still shone through, "that you have decided that you do not want me with you on your journey."
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