With great thanks to 💚 ABUNDANCE TRIBE 💚 for the bi-weekly question asked, and elaborated on, HERE:
"What word describes the essence or quality you wish to experience in your life, one that allows you to feel more fulfilled? And how can you experience that quality now?"
My Context:
I'm a US expat who has lived in Belize -- formerly "the British Honduras" -- the last 2.5 years, and Acapulco for 2.5 years prior to that. I love the tropical climate and Caribbean culture... but it's been less than 50 years since the Brits were here, "running" things. So ideas of self-rulership and agency are not yet highly valued. Compliance is.
CV-19 protocols were immediately and strictly embraced from the beginning. Since March, mask mandates have been ENFORCED with a consequential USD$2,500 fine for dissent. Citizens have been arrested for broken curfews. Pastors and teachers have been arrested for defying the maximum number "allowed" to gather together.
The observation of fear is strong, and Karen's are many.
As an aware student of both universal and natural law, who has seen the falsity of the plandemic since early Spring, IT HAS BEEN HELL (compared to other locations with looser regulations and less severe enforcement). The "distancing" has felt all-pervasive. Ideologically. Pragmatically. Relationally.
As a result of deeply feeling the effects of dehumanization for such a long time, combined with having a highly sensitive nervous system, I stopped fully inhabiting my body! Especially when I have to interact with Crazy Clown World out there. 🤡
But living neck-up is not fully living.
I wish to experience more EMBODIMENT. I can do this by:
being more consistent with my QIGONG practice;
investing in a monthly MASSAGE, for a chance to enjoy wholesome touch; and
redirecting the frequent anger I feel about tyranny's blatant reach, as an internal prompt to work with my breath or qi in that moment. (This basically pre-programs a positive chain reaction, that will feed off unwanted emotions and triggers.)
Qigong makes my entire body feel buzzingly alive. Thinking through this question has helped me see that I've vacated my body as a way to feel LESS, because so much of what I feel is rageful and very unpleasant. The shadow work that 2020 has required, often feels like just too much to metabolize... especially when still faced with the challenge of earning a living as an indie, blah blah.
But choosing to numb my physicality was a poor coping mechanism that underestimated the wisdom and capacity of my faithful body. I realize all this with the same sadness you might feel when learning you hurt someone you love.
I forgive myself of this avoidant negligence. And I write this with hands and wrists that are now conducting the sweet Force of Life, because self-compassion has finally unleashed it. 🖤
