Do you know that feeling, that you have to do something.....but can´t quite remember what?
This story is just that.
I remember being told to write it but I can´t remember what I was supposed to tell you. What I do know is that everything I am going to tell you really happened, even though it may unbelievable sometimes.
Hit Rewind to start from Chapter One
Chapter 54
Well whatever the well represented, I was finally free. My lawyer called me two days before Yella´s birthday to tell me that the case was closed, and of course, my first question was if I could finally talk with her again.
We had not spoken since that 2nd December, or maybe even the first as she was still sleeping when they barged in, and now it was the 28th of September. We secretly developed a way of minimal communication by posting pictures on a forum or writing blogs that included messages only she and I could pick up on.
Those little signals allowed us some type of communication, but at times they confused things even more.
Now I was able to I sent her a birthday gift, her favorite perfume. Within days we were back where we started about 18 months ago. Texting forth and back, and telling each other about the horrors we had gone through these last ten months.
Yella´s mom and aunt tried to hide all the documents and details from her but with the case being dropped there was very little they could do. Especially when the judge confirmed that they were no longer custodians, only mentors. Meaning they could only be there to advise and no longer determine her actions.
We started probing around regarding Yella´s rights in the place she had been committed to. When she was brought there they had the temporary right of confinement. She was not allowed to leave for the time it took to prove her mental status.
That should have changed now but nobody told her what her rights were. It was not until the probing that the institution where she was residing had to admit that they were not allowed to stop her if she decided to leave. That made us inquire about mentorship, we found proof that mentors could only advice.
As soon as that became obvious to her mom and aunt, they asked to have that role removed. Why is that right? They were doing it for her, right? So what changed? They lost a little bit, well a lot of power, and straight away they turn their backs on the girl?
It took us about a year from the day they tore us apart to get out of the mess and come up with a plan for the future. We both were very clear that that future was not going to be about texting. Even with all the police harassment we had to undergo we had enjoyed being together way too much to go back to the old days.
This time we would take a bit of a different approach, this time we would do it the right way because we were not willing to go through that shit again. This approach worried Yella a bit. She had been holding on to the thought that she would be with me again for almost a year, and now that it seemed possible she needed to wait even longer.
Getting clarity on your rights is much harder than we thought, it tales ages for people to just say how things really are, but when we finally received the confirmations we were unstoppable. Time to plan her break out, a legally backed break out. We would do it differently this time because we finally had the law at our side.
Well finally, if you take a good look we had that law at our side the first time as well, but I guess not everyone agreed with it. This time we would make them agree. Yella told the institution that she would be leaving on the 14th of January and there was nothing they could do to stop her. I picked her up, went to her room to get her suitcase and she walked out of there, easy as pie.
We went back the other day to sign out and have a talk with her psychologist. This lady was probably the only help she had in the last year, when we left that place for a second time Yella made a promise to herself, she promised never ever to come back
That was one down and one to go. This next one would be the hardest one. We had to face her mother. A year ago I probably would not have been able to do this.
This person for lack of a better word had made our lives a living hell for over a year. It had hurt Yella, my dad, and many other people close to us. I could not forgive, nor forget, but over time I accepted what had happened and I knew that if we wanted to be together this was necessary.
I had not spoken to my mom in 6 years and as Yella did not have a lot of people other than her family I wanted her to not lose them by going with me.
We both dreaded the visit, unsure of what she would try to pull this time. We arrived, rang the bell and her mom let us in.
What happened next was very unexpected, she came right down to business. She was not in agreement but she admitted legal defeat.
There was nothing she could do to stop this, but there also was nothing she would do to help. Or close to nothing, she would keep paying her funeral insurance to ensure Yellas would be extradited to The Netherlands in case anything happened.
Other than that she wanted a confirmation that if Yella would come back we would be able to pay the cost during the interim period. Mainly the cost of living and health insurance till all the paperwork was done to get her insured and on benefits.
The whole meeting was very clinical and business-like, there was no indication whatsoever that she had any plans to stop us a second time. Even though Yella was still not convinced she was really free to go.
Two days later at the airport, Yella kept looking around for people that would be there to stop her from leaving the country again. Two hours later we flew above Belgium together for a second time.
Years later, I sometimes doubt if I should/could have known better. I was a parent myself, what would I have done if my 18-year-old boy texted me: "Hi Dad I am in the US and I am not planning on coming back?"
Oh right, that actually happened and what did I do, nothing. I did not even go to court and mention that his mom had taken him under false pretenses. I accept the choices he made, I respect he has his road to go.
Still, that is me and a different story. but should I have insisted on Yella telling her mom? Be the adult and do the right thing. Or should I have respected Yella´s choice not to, as she was the one I was supposed to support?
I did bring it up, but when she said she was too scared to have that talk did I discard it too easily?
I might have indeed, I might have done what I had done so many times before. I might not have seen the consequences of my actions once again, but on the other hand, who could have seen this coming?
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