You need to know their needs and understand their desires, and it means to know yourself. Only in harmony with yourself you can make a conscious choice to build their own lives. Awareness of themselves, their needs, here and now, qualitatively changing our lives, one might even say that change its level.
But do not think that everything depends on us or we have to control everything. It's just impossible, but even trying to do so we spend a lot of effort. Yes, actually, we don't even live in the moment ("here and now"), we worry about the past (something went wrong, and how could it be otherwise) or for the future (not to become what we want and how it is "to warn"). Experience taken a lot of energy (because of the emotional activity is the most energy consuming) and time (when we start "guessing" what might happen - the options are many...). Thus - we are not living, not enjoying the moment and all the beauty that God has created for us, and worried about something "unreal", because in reality "here and now" does not apply. Scientists have discovered that 80% of our "forecasts, which are experiencing" never happen. That is, 80% of the time and effort, in other words, 80% of life we spend on something that will never happen (Thank God!!!).
Why not strive to be in control, to assume that all 100% dependent on us. This is a question of faith and trust in God. There is a saying "Do what you can. And the rest leave to God." Because, really, the Lord creates the best situation for our development, only need to be able to make. And every day we make our own decisions, building our life. This God gave us the greatest gift - the Ability to Select and hence we can choose how we live, how we make our lives. God so respects our choice, we can even choose ... to live without God... And God we do not punish, only sad that we ourselves create a hell. Jesus said that those who do not believe, already punished himself.
To name a few different situations, we very often can't change anything. There is a war, the death of loved ones, there is a serious illness and there are different unhappiness. So how do we create our life, if we can't change anything? Our choice for how we perceive the situation. The choices we make between only two alternatives. Our world is dual and the theme of Good and Evil dominates the world view of the majority. Therefore, every choice we make, or from a position of Love or a position of Fear. Every time making a decision, we experience Love, God's proudest and His custody, or fear that something did not happen or happened or "what will people say", and the like.
Every time, in every action, ask yourself: why am I doing this? What drives me: Love or Fear? Thus it is possible to constantly check your relationship with God, because where God is, there is no Fear, only Love. Just as Light banishes the Darkness (where there is light, there is no place for darkness) and Love banishes Fear.
For example, in a situation of conflict in the family: when everything looks so critical that the only way out seems to be divorce. Or memory"we remember in that moment about Love, all the moments of happiness and joy that God has given our spouses, there is a basic confidence that my husband loves me, and the conflict is a tempest on the surface, it passes, but the basis remains?
Another very common example: a child cries in a public place (transport, shop, in facilities where there are other, even strangers). Action mom or dad will be from a position of love? Of course, to hug and reassure the child (not to stop crying or to switch her attention to calm). But from a position of fear - to stop crying in any way, because "what will people think?" (of course you will think that You are not coping with their parental responsibilities"connections and grow ill-mannered child).
In General, the ability to make crying depends on the maturity level of the individual. Only Mature adults who have the inner harmony that are relaxed and full of can take children's negative emotions calmly, not reacting to my negative emotions (that is, not slipping into "child"), and to give the child to replace the love, peace of mind and confidence that the adult will protect where the child himself is unable to cope (after all, negative emotions in reaction to a stressful situation).
Sometimes it is difficult to make a choice, both alternatives seem logical and it is not clear which is from a position of love. The simplest way is to ask yourself the question: "what would I chose if it was the last day of my life?" or "what would I say about this choice if I was 90 years old?". These questions help to understand what is important in my life, help to prioritize and not worry about the little things.
So, I wish You strength and inspiration, I wish the development and prosperity in all areas of Your life. Remember that Your future depends on each Your choice each day that You make or from a position of Victim or from a position of Love (Love for ourselves, for others, to the world).
Love, faith, and God's blessings to all of You!
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