On the most important needs of men and women I have already described in previous posts. Sideways, remember them? :)
The vast majority of people the question: "What do You most need from your husband/wife?" we answer simply, "Love." And it is wonderful that "we all seek love, or young, or old..." (from the song of the group the Falcons).
But the word "Love" has different meanings for men and women. Remember that for a woman love means caring. That is, when a man cares about the woman and about her security, the woman feels that the man really loves her. This concern should manifest itself in words ("how are You feeling?", "what would You like today?") and in action (to help in household chores or to do something personally for wife, gifts and flowers - too good to care). But take care of the woman the man only when the woman trusts him and accepts his care.
And for my husband it is the trust women means that a woman loves him. How interesting we have - we have different ideas about love and different needs, but they are vzaymoponymanye. When a woman trusts a man cares and protects - a woman, feeling concern, convinced that her husband loves her, and has more trust in man - and the man, feeling the love and trust of women to him wants more more care about a woman...
We will consider several pairs of complementary needs of men and women (with John gray).
A very important need for humans is to be accepted for who he is. Unfortunately, most brides somehow believe that I will be able after the marriage to change, to change a man... the Girl before the wedding, knowing the flaws of the guy (e.g. untidy, disorganized, smokes cigarettes or drinks alcohol), thinks to himself: "let him marry, then I will quickly re-educated", for me it... (stop Smoking, to drink and to bathe more often)...
But to change a man's wife can't... it can only break... to make him not a man (what is called on every wife), but boy... the son who does the will of his mother, because his already has...
Many men not having enough of inner strength, say, "okay" to requests/orders wife to change. But it just means that these men care about peace and do not want to once again fight with his wife. But they don't have enough power to change. And the desire to strive for change also do not have...
There are some men that just say a firm "no!" to requests/orders wife to change. And such relationships are more real, they do not lie, therefore they are more likely to be healthy. And healthy are those relationships in which we accept each other as we are and respect each other. And at the same time contribute to each other's development (facilitate, not encourage, persuade or "click" in different ways). And establish healthy marital relationship begins with the principle of taking each other as we were.
When a woman accepts a man for what he is, then for him it means that his wife respects him. So what kind of respect can there be when the wife constantly points out the defects and needs to change? However, it is respect from his wife is extremely important need of every man. This is a prerequisite for the successful growth of man for his achievements and for his happiness. The man does not respect his wife, seen from afar, and gradually cease to respect others. To achieve something in these conditions for men is almost impossible. Sometimes wife it's hard to respect a man because she knows his flaws, but you need to remember that she's not perfect, but respect man is not only her marital commitment, but his natural need. If it is, of course, wants a man to develop and reach a higher level of spiritual and material development, and with it his seven"I am.Interesting is the fact that men generally Express less claims to their wives than wives to their husbands.
The need of women is similar, but more complicated. The woman needs understanding, and only then, acceptance. That is a woman it is important that the husband listened to her, heard her, realized it was already taken (consciously and without assessments and advice). These needs are interconnected"sledge: when a man listen and understand a woman, the woman then it is easier to accept a husband like that, as it is. The woman understands that she is not perfect. When a person understands and accepts her, satisfying her need, and she can take it non-ideal (even though he was poor, but he understands me!). And tries to see him as his best strengths. This contributes to the fact that people want to grow and become better.
The third pair of needs: a woman demands respect, and the man asks to be thanked. When a man understands a woman, he tries to take care of it as you need it. And it is for the woman means that the man respects her, because he understood and accepted her thoughts and feelings, her emotions, her needs and desires, makes them a priority. Then the woman is very grateful to her husband, she expresses her gratitude at every opportunity. And did not believe that thanks are not necessary, because people are "only doing their duty."
The next pair of requirements is similar to the previous one, only a little deeper. A woman needs devotion to men, and men need a woman's admiration. A woman needs to feel that the man is ready for a woman on the deed that he wants to implement it , trying to satisfy her desires. For a woman this means that her husband devoted to her that he might for her needs to sacrifice his own desires or habits. And then the woman admires a man, she considers him as his hero and shows it to him. For men it is extremely important, because all men are born to be heroes, to do exploits for women's favorite.
There are other classification the basic needs of men and women. For example, here's (see here)
5 major needs of men:
- Sexual pleasure / sexual fulfillment
- Guide to relaxation (joint holiday) / recreational companionship
Attractive partner / spouse attractive
Home support / domestic support - The admiration and praise / admiration
5 major needs of women:
- Affection / affection (non-sexual)
- The communication / conversation
- Honesty and openness / honesty and openness
- Financial support / financial support
- Dedication to family / family commitment
And a woman needs to hear that she is good and loved, she really needs a dialogue not only with husband but also her friends (female communication), and openness in communication. For women it is very important to create comfort in "his nest", which secured her a husband, and where she feels safe. And she really needed the gifts!!!
And men need to be needed (so the wife won't be so happy) the most important (the master, the one who decides), to hear that he is smart and strong and see the admiration in the eyes of his wife, he needs the woman considered him a hero. More men need to have time on their hobby and the opportunity to "go into my cave", where no one will disturb you. And, of course, the man needs a Purpose in life, or he does not know where to go and what to achieve.