I thought that help only the poor and miserable... And I tried to handle myself, to not need assistance. But, when it was really bad, then I allowed myself to be poor and miserable (because already had no energy) and thought that, finally, will take care of me. I expected relief, because I thought that only this state is "poor and miserable" gives the right to care of me. But somehow it didn't happen... I was surprised and very hurt.
And then I realized two important things: I have the right to ask (and not only the right but also the marital debt), and you can do it not only in extreme cases (when it's really bad), but on the contrary. As admitted my husband to fulfil my requests, when I am happy (in order to become even happier) much nicer than when I was "poor and unhappy"... This recognition was quite important to me, and confirmed once again that my "work in marriage - smile" :)
The ability to ask is one of the most important women's skills. It sounds quite strange, because from childhood we know that we need to be able to cope. It is a good style of parenting boys is not suitable for the education of girls. Why? Is it bad when the woman can do herself? Can achieve what he wants to do things his own way in life. Then she is independent and definitely not lost in life. But can she be happy? So, truly deeply happy, in harmony with their needs?
I failed... And I know a lot of successful, independent women who have husbands and families, but they are not dependent on men and build their own life in their own way. These women also feel (some more, some less), something is amiss that sometimes want to relax and feel strong shoulder near, to feel supported and protected... But it is not... Because men are such women, as a rule, been convinced that the wife may herself that she will do as I want and no one else (especially your husband) don't do it "so efficiently/properly/quickly/carefully etc."
I wrote that a healthy and Mature male marries with the main purpose to make his wife happy. Only in this way he proved himself as a Man. The woman becomes completely Woman in a relationship with a man. It is God's plan, God said "it is not good for the man to be alone" and gave Adam eve. For a happy life. For a relationship. To complement each other and building the unity, integrity.
Frankly, people are easier and easier to not live in pairs. And the man and the woman easier to be by myself and depend on myself, not to adjust to another, to endure, to survive over another, to satisfy only their desires. But the sages of different religions say what is "easier and simpler" existence is not conducive to our development, and develops only the selfishness and consumerism.
However, only in the marital relationship, when they are sincere, honest, deep, you know the kind of happiness and love, which is not in any other relationship. But marital relations are not a gift in the Marriage, they need to build life. More about this in the next section.
Back to the requests. Let's just say - if a woman asks her husband, he may not even know that a woman demands something. Then a person can feel, because his wife everything she can and she knows how best she can to do that. This feeling of separation is very detrimental to manhood. Man always tends to feel a hero to his wife and his seven"th (and not only :). To be a hero, you need to perform feats. And what about the feats can be discussed when a woman is strong and independent and can "make it alone"?
On the contrary, when a woman is weak and does not hide it, but simply asking for help (but here is extremely important - it asks, not whether orders), then the person has the ability to be his hero and save his wife. Often a woman is hard to ask (especially when from childhood she knows she has to get out herself, and that asking someone is a shame). This is how to admit their own inferiority. But we are inferior, husband and wife are themselves flawed. Such we were created by God. And only when we are together, we create unity and become one, become the image and likeness of God. Because if we were perfect and complete, is would we need each other?
And we all (men and women) are hard to ask because we are afraid to hear the rejection. Just afraid to hear "No." So afraid, that it is better not to ask. And it is also a sign of immaturity. Only a Mature adult can accept failure, can not respond to "No" resentment or anger. He understands that each adult has his life and make their decisions. So if I do something my way, then the other person also has the right to have his way. This means that it has the right to deny me my request. It also means that I have the right to reject someone without feeling guilt or shame.
But back to the request - when a woman asks her husband, thus giving him the opportunity to be a hero to his wife. By asking the woman shows how a person can take care of her. Because the person rarely realizes what needs now his wife. Therefore, women should not expect that the man himself would guess. And even when the woman is already several times about something in particular and asked her husband did for her, you should not expect that the next time in a similar situation he will remember the needs of women. Only when it was repeated quite often, then the man produced a algorithm and he already remember. The simplest example flowers or candies, when the wife asks you to give her flowers or chocolates and each time incredibly happy upon receiving them, the person understands and remembers to remember how to make happy wife. And each time repeats this action to make a pleasant wife.
And again, an important moment for his wife are incredibly happy and grateful! And the second (no less important) point - in any case do not expect that the man SHOULD do it (even if already familiar with the colors and candy). And one more thing - in any case not to criticize (not the flowers I don't like sweets).
About the more complex needs you need to ask every time. And each time to realize that this time the man can refuse and has the right (even if earlier and was trouble free). And need to ask more than once (with this just need to accept :). And yet-has the right to perform the woman's request when it is convenient (remember"remember the mono functionality of the husband, that is, the inability to immediately switch) and in this way it is comfortable for him (he's the hero and who decides what it needs to save the Princess, a good example in the parable of the valiant knight).
Once again - please women allows men to grow into manhood. This applies not only to spouses. When a woman asks stranger to give her a seat on public transport or help to carry the bag to the car, the man helping the woman, still feels like a hero. Feels strong, who can take care of the weak beautiful woman. Such an inner sense contributes to the growth of male power.
So, dear women, let us sincerely ask and thank for even the little things, instead of resentfully to expect that "he should..." or pretentious to refer to "duties" or "elementary education". Then life will be easier and definitely more enjoyable for women than for men.