I had to leave Steemfest abruptly. My friend Jaoued died yesterday and I wanted to get back home to support his family.
For me, it was a double break: I have not been able to say "goodbye" neither to my old friend nor to the new friends I met in Amsterdam.
Made my suitcase, sat in the car, put the my home address in the GPS ... and then I cried.
I felt ashamed, guilty.
Jaoued was already at the hospital for days. Just before I left for Amsterdam, his brother-in-law told me that he was probably living his last weeks. I thought I had to urgently go and see him. But ... there's Steemfest, the reservation made a long time ago ... a few weeks ... I would go to see him as soon as I come back ...
The party was going on. I was so excited by my Steemfest experience : Steem here, Steemit there, completely immersed in the Steemfest pot, with all the other Steemians dancing around.
Then this terrible SMS from his sister : "Jaoued is leaving" ... then another one a few hours later ... "He left".
I could not react at that moment, as if I was indifferent. I had the brain completely "steemed" by what I was living in Amsterdam.
Engine on ... Drive home ...
Staring at the road, a bit stunned, I wondered "what happened to me?" Why didn't I collapsed directly? How could I have been so cut off my feelings, my sensations? Am I becoming insensitive, inhuman, wanting to "eat some Steemit" at all costs? I did not recognize myself.
I took me a while to understand that, on the contrary, I was just living fully. I met so many people in Steemfest with whom I share common values: the concern for others, the desire to create new things, to change the world and make our dreams come true using Steemit.
How not to get caught up in life when you meet people from all over the world, motivated by a project of this magnitude, still under construction, in which you also participate.
Just life ... stronger than dead.
Why Am i writing this post? In fact, I really don't know ...
Is it a good idea or a bad one? Is it the right place or not? What will other think of what I'm doing? I obviously mull over a lot about it ... too much.
I then remembered Neil Strauss presentation on Steemfest, when he said something like: "Nobody care ... so if you want to write something, if that's important to you , just do it, do it for you".
So I do.
Guys, please help me! I want to help my friend's family but I find myself lost.
Words no more coming out ... speaking through my tears ...
You're the community I want to throw my SOS bottle in ... not to get a reward but comfort. A community made of real humans ... like I met at Steemfest.
No upvote. Just drop a comment ... if you want ... for me or for Jaoued's family. I will forward!