A tendency towards the negative

Sometimes it seems like I spend a disproportionate amount of time wondering about the people who don't like me - the one downvote on an article with 100 upvotes, the one Facebook friend who unfriends me without warning. Yet, I spend very little time wondering about why the people who like me, do like me.

The value of your friendship

Normally, a percentage of the people whom you meet decide that yes, you are worth their time and effort. What a blessing. Do you ever wonder exactly how you offer value to them? It's a difficult question, because often the things we do which are valuable to others are just what we see as normal. If you are fortunate enough, you might have friends who go out of their way to tell you that what you do is valuable, and if you are extra fortunate, they might even take the time to analyse and tell you why.

Power

You are powerful. To affirm the power of those around you is to affirm your own power.

The importance of kind words

My friend Dan was living in Sydney for a while. Being a friendly fellow from a small town, he made the point of saying "Thank you" to the bus driver when he hopped off. One day, the bus driver stopped the bus when he heard it, just to run to the door and thank Dan for his kind words, saying that hardly anybody noticed him and it meant so much to know that he was giving a service worthy of gratitude.

Why did the bus driver do that? The answer is simple. He wanted what we all want: in a universe which can seem chaotic and meaningless, we want to feel important, significant, to know that our actions mean something - that they mean something to others.

A fun trip

Thank you. Thanks for making this trip to Earth a special one. Nobody could have done it just like you did it. Nobody could have played the role quite like you did.

If you removed a single person from the universe, there wouldn't just be a hole where they used to be. The universe would collapse because of the imbalance it would cause. You are needed here, and you are wanted here. You are welcome here. This is your home.

You matter, and why to say "you matter"

You are important. You matter. If you say "I love you" or "I care about you," those are things which can quite suddenly cease to be true, despite Hollywood's assertions that "Love is forever."

If you tell someone "You matter," they may not take it the way you expect. They may not even say "thank you". Don't measure your actions by your results. People don't have to accept your gifts to make giving them worthwhile. People laugh, mock, freeze up or misinterpret, but of course, some will accept your gift, and some will accept it in private, as your gentle words seep through their hard crust.

"You matter to me" is an important message, but "you matter" is a more complete one. Maybe you'll stop being friends for some reason, one of you dies in a car crash, moves to the other side of the world and you never see each other again. "You matter" is forever. Once you say it, not nobody and not nothing can never take it away.

About me

My name is Kurt Robinson. I grew up in Australia, but now I live in Guadalajara, Jalisco. I write interesting things about voluntaryism, futurism, science fiction, travelling Latin America, and psychedelics. Remember to press follow so you can stay up to date with all the cool shit I post, and follow our podcast where we talk about crazy ideas for open-minded people, here: @paradise-paradox, and like us on Facebook here - The Paradise Paradox