Now I'm lying in my bed and cannot sleep. Thoghts are jumping from one side of my head to another. I just took dubble doze of meds to sleep, it does not work.
Looking over my personality I see two polar sides and each of sides isn't me. Also I cannot unite them together. So I'm teared apart.
I'm totally disapointed about myself. I idealized my individuality and thought I'm better than anothers sometimes. It's hard to me to ruin my manic plans. I would prefer not to dream anymore. This unreal plans are like an obsessions.
Now I have real hell in my head. My thoughts spins in another direction every minute. Me is not me and don't know who I'm really am, I'm just a pile of broken useless thoghts and obsessions and dreams. Don't have my own personality. Just a lot of garbage.