I have experienced my own fair share of negative and unhealthy relationships in my life and I'm sure many of us have. And although the negative relationships can be painful to endure, they can often teach us what to look out for the next time around so that we can try not to make the same mistakes.
Some of the things that make up a healthy relationship are commonly said to be: honesty, trust, mutual respect, support, good communication, separate identities, and more. And when it comes to unhealthy relationships sometimes it's easy to spot some red flags that can indicate the union might not have longevity in its future.
Seeing the red flags ourselves can sometimes be difficult because as they say "love is blind," but if we can establish some principles and boundaries around what we want our relationships to look like, then it will get easier to get away from people when they are operating in a way that doesn't jive with what you want.
There are a number of different things to look for when it comes to spotting red flags so I've only compiled a few, feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments below!
?If your partner loves and trusts you then they aren't going to need an explanation from you every time that you leave the house. If your partner is making you feel like you need permission in order to carry on about your life then this could be a red flag indicating you're in an unhealthy relationship.
If you don't trust your partner then how can you expect to see a healthy long-term future with them? Trust is commonly attributed to be a foundation of a healthy relationship and if you don't have it then it's going to be very easy to fall into suspicion and argument.
If you can't retain your individuality without them and you are relying on them for your happiness then it's safe to say that this is a major red flag. You should never place the responsibility on someone else to make you happy, it is something that should rest with you. You were an individual before you met your partner and it's important to retain that even though you enter a relationship with someone else.
If you endure name calling (verbal abuse) or physical assault from your partner then this is a major red flag. Someone who cares about you isn't going to want to harm you and sure we all make mistakes and might say something stupid occasionally, but if there is a pattern of saying really hurtful and disrespectful things then this is is not going to help foster a healthy partnership.
When it comes to looking for the good, there are a number of traits that relationship experts have attributed to positive and healthy relationships, like: compromise, good communication, loyalty, trust, flexibility, and openness.