Decisions about caring for a mentally ill father in law!
26 years, that is how long I have been involved with an inlaw who has mental health issues. That is a long time for someone to learn how to handle certain situations. Sometimes just plain common sense willo prevail, but only if others listen to the advice.
My father in law has been in and out of hospitals since in his early 20's, he is in his mid 60's now.
The first time I met him, he was pleasant and full of life. I had been warned about his "episodes" and was told to stay away from him during those times. It has been relatively easy, well except from the countless, late night, frustrating calls at all hours of the night.
Imagine being called 11pm, 12am, 1am, 2am by someone who has not been well mentally and the incoherent conversations you would have trying to tell them to it is late and to go bed. Yet they don't see what they are doing is wrong, it is about their needs to talk about whatever may be on their mind at that moment, no matter the subject.
Having to lock yourself into a room in fear of them hurting you when they think you are out to get them. It is not an easy life when you have someone who is creates so much drama while you are trying to keep your own sanity.
Now, my dilemma was that I had him arrested 2 weeks ago because of no contact order that he just refused to abide by. He has no clue it is was me who called and god help me if he ever finds out. I would have to dig one hell of a huge hole somewhere and go into hiding.
So he was given a choice, either check himself into the hospital or go to jail. Peering in someones windows and watching them is not ok and definitely not of a sane person. He refused to leave and my rationale was whether he goes to the hospital or Jail, he would have a roof over his head, fed and someone would make sure he is getting his meds. No one would have to worry about him commiting suicide or attaching someone. We could all breathe easier knowing he was where he was not able to do what he wants.
What happens, my brother in law bails him out, his wife being a nurse said she would take care of him. Well that last a whopping 2 days before he had her in tears and wanting him as far away as she could get him. Then this episode of going back to jail for breach of bail, my other brother in law bails him out. All of this is pointless because once he is out he refuses to take any of his meds.
Now I have to deal with my brother in law calling asking us to speak to his father, try to get him to go to bed, complaining about his fathers antics and how he is upsetting the entire house. Yesterday my father is law decided to take off in his car at 5am with no word. So when my brogther in law got up to go to work, dad is gone, car is gone and no one knows where he is or what he is doing.
Today I get a call from my father in law, all happy go lucky and acting like all is right in the world. Another one of his strange character sides. Some days he is confused, others he is angry and argumentive with everyone and others he thinks everyone is out to get him.
I recommended revoking his bail and putting him back in jail until his hearing next week when his doctor is recommending a 60 day assessment. Which would aide us on deciding to have him commited now or not.
You see, he has been on every medicine he can be on over the years, his liver was being eaten away by one med so they put him on a different one that was affecting his kidneys. There really are no other options now. The decision has to be made no matter how hard it is to do.
This is my dilemma and I can only hope he gets the help he needs. But I truly believe he is too far gone to be able to recover this time. This break down has lasted a year so far and even his own doctor said to leave him in jail for now. I just wish my inlaws listened to my advice and his doctors so we could live in what little peace we have when he is not on the loose.
Sigh, a breaking heart in the making.
Nov 6, 11:3am The police are not looking for my father in law. He got into a physical altercation with my brother in law. Jumped in his car, hit the house with it and then drove all over the nieghbors lawns and took off.
I can only hope that when he is found he will go peacefully with the police.