“We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say.” ― Zeno of Citium
Do you know how children learn how to speak? The listen to the sounds that they hear around them and then they try to imitate those sound. We could say that we learn how to listen before we learn how to speak. Because this is how nature programmed us to function. Think a little bit about this. Nature created us in a way that we need the ability to listen, to learn how to speak. We all know the difficulties that the children with hearing problems have.
So listening is a basic skill that we are born with. But, are we practicing it enough, now that we’ve grown up?
There is a difference between hearing and listening. If you don’t have problems with your ears, you will hear everything around you. But that doesn’t mean that you are listening.
What does listening means? Listening means that you actively interpret the sound that you hear. They aren’t just background noises. Listening means that you are involved.
Why is listening so important?
As I was saying above, listening is an important communication skill. And because we humans are social animals, we tend to communicate a lot. And communication is basically this: someone talks and someone listen.
So listening will improve your relationships. People will like to be around you because you will pay more attention to them, you will focus on them rather than you.
You will have a better understating of what people are saying. Actively listening and paying attention to what people are saying to you increase your level of understanding. Don’t just “Aha” when someone is talking to you, or nod around. Listen.
You will learn new things. People are interesting. Although we like to believe that we are smart and great, we are not. You can always learn something new from someone, if you listen to them.
How do you listen?
Silly question, isn’t it? But if it was so simple, why people are having problem with this, even though it’s an inborn skill?
When you talk with someone, focus on the person in front of you. Look at her and pay attention to her. Don’t check your phone while you are doing it, don’t look at the screen of your monitor. Look at the person who is talking to you.
And don’t just look at her creepily and let your mind wander around. Interpret the body language, try to understand what is said to you. You could even ask some question to clarify what you understood. But, very important, don’t interrupt the speaker. Let him finish the phrase and then ask the question.
A good practice for listening is with music. Nowadays it’s a habit to put on some music and let it be in the background. But try to listen music, to really listen, not just hear it. Lay down the bed, press play and listen. Listen to the instruments, listen to the lyrics, listen to the voice of the singer. Imagine that the singer is in front of you. Try this once and let me know about this experience.
Learning how to listen is a good point in improving the relationships you have with the people around you. And a good way to make a good impression with new people.
“The single most important key to success is to be a good listener.” ― Kelly Wearstler
Image source: Pixabay
This is Day 6 of the 30 days writing challenge during January 2017 launched by @dragosroua. If you want to join the challenge, here's the introductory article.
Essential skills in life is a series of articles regarding skills that I consider everyone should try to develop them. Some of them I have, some of them I'm working on. Please follow me @sstefan if you want to check the next post of the series.