Before then, I used to be fairly active, but this pain began to increase. It started to affect other parts of my spine, like the middle of my back. It seemed that anything I would do would aggitate the pain beyond what I could handle most days. I remember jumping into the air and landing on the ground. The middle of my spine jerked. For the rest of the month, every time I coughed, sneezed, moved quickly, or anything of the sort I'd be grabbing my chest in pain. What was wrong with me? Is this a normal part of life?
I'd gone to a few chiropractors. All that did was make me dependent upon them. I'd leave for the day after seeing them feeling okay; the next day I felt worse than the day before. None of them suggested anything useful. They didn't understand the problem. Fortunately, I had stayed away from pills. Living with a mother, who constantly complained about the pain she felt, was on the pharmaceuticals drugs, which are handed out like candy. I had noticed it hadn't helped her in the long run; it only made her more dependent on dangerous chemicals. I started smoking cannabis instead. (I also began drinking heavily as that helped to cover up the pain.)
Many years went by living with this pain. There were some days I physically could not walk or stand up. Lifting heavy objects was out of the question. I could ride a bicycle without many problems. It had been the only way for me to stay in somewhat good shape. However, the pain could intensify extremely quickly at the slightest wrong turn of my body. I began to fear moving; which is bad, because our bodies need to move in all sorts of directions to stay healthy.
One day when I was dating this lovely girl, she suggested that we go to Runyon Canyon (Hollywood, CA) for the free/donation based yoga classes they hold there in the mornings. "Sure," I said. I had no idea what yoga was. It just sounded like a nice thing to do with her. I like random adventures.
Holly shit! As I began to move in all of the different postures, my back began to crack and pop in ways that brought down the pain level. Wow! What a relief! I could finally walk without cringing every step of the way. Do to the atrophy I had accumulated over the years, I was so sore after class. But, the pain, the pain had deminished. We began going often. (Oh ya! Every part of my body was sore. The pain was still with me, but it felt great being able to move somewhat freely again.)
And then, I moved out of CA due to the street being shut down by the cops. (I was one of the performers on Hollywood boulevard.) My girl and I parted on peaceful terms. I also stopped the one thing that was helping me. It would be very painful for the next couple of years.
I moved to New York after my thirtieth birthday. I had joined a yoga studio, but rarely went. Funny how this works, huh? The one thing one finds extremely helpful is the one thing that one will avoid. I had the normal excuses: I'm tired; I don't feel like it; I'm too busy - watching movies and playing vidoe games; if I were a Christain fellow, the excuse would have been, "But the Devil will cause me pain, and I'll go to hell for praying to other Gods." Ha!
I was sitting in my room alone full of pain. Then, a couple images flashed across my mind. They were scenes of the future. (1) If I continued to ignore this pain and wait for some great man to come and save me, I'd be sitting in a wheel chair very soon, or (2) get off your lazy ass and start going to do the one thing that has helped you in the past. Without a second thought about it, I started going to yoga every day. There was no way, if given the choice, I'm going to give up like that.
The first month was difficult. I remember going to work barely able to breathe or move, because my body was so sore; but things were moving and I felt better over all. I'd worked through some of this discomfort before when I was more physically active. I wasn't going to let this discomfort discourage me. No way! No wheel chair for me if I had anything to say about it.
The yoga teachers didn't know what to make of me. At times, I had to do my own thing no matter what postion everybody else was in. They told the class to listen to our bodies; I did just that. Every time I listened to myself, a little bit of releif would come. Oh man! How very exciting! The teachers would call me out at times for not doing exactly what the rest of the class was doing, and I'd say, "You're the ones that told me to listen to my body. This is what it tells me. So, I'm going to do it. I'll join back in when I can." - It makes me laugh now. It wasn't funny to them.
The real fun didn't start for me until about two months later. I was sitting in my room playing Brainhq.com, a program that works on the neurological muscles of the mind. I noticed a spot in my arm hurting. I repeatedly told myself, "That doesn't have to hurt. Why is that hurting?" I continued to move my shoulder around in circles as I was playing this game. The greatest thing happened. My shoulder fell back into place! OH MY GOD! The feeling was intense. That movement caused other parts of my body to move. For the first time in a long time, that night I felt like I was laying flat on my back. For the next month, my body was shifting in ways I'd only dreamt about. The pain lessoned. I knew I had made the right choice, (2).
How great it feels to be able to take care of one's own body. I've been practicing almost every day since; four years to date. It has been one of the greatest gifts I've ever recieved in my life. It hasn't been a panacea, but this art has truly saved my life. I have more work to do. 😉
(The pain eventually went away after I started Tai Chi Chuan and Qi Gong on top of the yoga. But the pain decided to come back recently. Damn emotional triggers! Ha! More to go through, as always.)
It is late; I'm off to bed. Peace