So many ugly things were happening around me lately. I mean, no one died, but all the little details added up to one big pile of crap, and I just lost it for a while. I hated everything more than the sun hates the night. I was dragged into the world of sadness by my uncontrollable flow of emotions. I knew that things were soon going to be alright, but at the same time, I wanted to be sad. Do you know that feeling when you want to be sad?
It sounds so ridiculous... but once again, we are humans and rationality is not one of those 'for granted' things. So, I was laying down on a bed, completely sad and devastated, feeling sorry for myself. I felt as if my self-esteem was something which could only be found on fairytales for kids. I felt as if I was quite useless at that time. And no, I'm not depressed or anything. In contrary. I consider myself to be a positive dude. However, it was one of those moments of pure sadness, which is somehow so romantic.
I thought that in a few days when my negative and irrational emotions died out, I would reflect that my sadness was something intriguing and beautiful. And you would not believe it, but that's exactly how I feel at the moment. I mean, I am not sad anymore; I know my plan and further steps; my mind is clear, and my conscience is calm. I just don't understand why I was sad in the first place.
After all, I knew that the sadness would pass pretty soon and it was no point to be upset. The only conclusion I could come up with was that we, humans, are damaged and full of brilliant flaws. And I say it as a compliment. We cannot control our emotions and feelings just a little too much sometimes. And it is a compliment as well. The sooner we understand that there is nothing wrong in being weak from time to time, the sooner we will live to find an eternal happiness. It is one of the sexiest paradoxes out there, and we just have to appreciate it.
Whenever you are sad, be sad with some pure quality! Appreciate the moment because it should (hopefully) pass soon. Yup, even the shittiest -- and yet, so beautiful -- moments have their due date. So cry your hearts our to the sunset if you are sad and seal that romantic moment in your minds!