Earlier this year I featured in a glamour photo shoot, something I never thought possible after receiving my ileostomy ten years ago. For the first six months I couldn't look at myself in the mirror without crying, so the thought of letting someone take photos of me was daunting to say the least, but I did it and I loved it. I loved it so much I decided to share my experience and from that was approached by an online health emagazine to do a collaborative piece on the photo shoot.
They went a different angle this issue, which, luck would have it, frees me up to share my answers with my fellow steemians rather than add them to the unsued archives. So please enjoy the interview questions and responses below, note I have linked some of the words you may find unfamiliar to my ostomy blog to clarify any meanings.
What does body positivity mean to you?
We are all different shapes and sizes for a reason. Love the skin you’re in, in all its glory. Health is key and without it it’s very hard to have a positive body image.
Why did you have the photo shoot done or how did it come about?
Right time and the right place, I won it. I'd been working hard at the gym, I was in the best shape of my life, and I had just started this blog. So I thought why not. What have I got to lose, if don't like any of the pictures I don't have to buy them. It all conveniently happened to coincide with my husband and my fourth wedding anniversary, so I asked him to come along and join me in the shoot. He always makes me feel sexy and a confidence boost when you are about to get in front of a camera in front of a stranger in your underwear never goes astray.
How do you feel right now with your body and stoma?
Right now I am very comfortable in my skin, this is partly due to my own efforts and partly due to my partners loving support and partly due to a mindset change. The first six months I spent crying if I looked at myself in the mirror, by the end of the twelve surgeries I had meet my perfect partner and was just glad to have it all over with so we could start a life together. Together we have been training at the gym for the past two years and I have found a happy healthy medium between cardio and chocolate (one of my weaknesses).
Was this different to how you felt about your body prior to your stoma?
Yes and No I was comfortable with my body, but I still spent way too much time fussing over the small stuff and doing nothing about it.
Did you find your body confidence after your ostomy or did you have body confidence before surgery and did it change?
I am way more comfortable now then I was before surgery, I have done things in the name of challenging myself and breaking stigmas than I ever would have considered prior to becoming to an ostomate.
When you decided to do the shoot what were your feelings?
If I told you I wasn't nervous walking into the studio I would be lying, I must have packed half my wardrobe into bags to bring to the shoot and then brought more on the way. I had no reason to be concerned, soon after arriving my nerves were put at ease.
What was your reaction when you saw the pics?
After each set, t photographer showed us the photos prior to moving onto the next theme to ensure he got the shot we wanted. I was amazed to see how great the photos looked, each viewing gave me more confidence in the process. The final viewing was on a huge screen in a private room, we were amazed at the raw results so much so, that our problem was trying to keep to our budget set prior to the shoot. In the end we brought the raw data disk with all the pictures.
Did you partner or loved ones have any feedback or encouragement towards your photos?
I had fantastic feedback from all my loved ones and my partner enjoyed the whole experience.
Did you share the pics online?
I did share them online on my blog which was shared on social media channels.
What was the reaction?
The reactions were overwhelming positive, I shared a lot in my under garment and so many people had no clue that I had a bag and had to take a second or even third look before they noticed it. I have tested this theory with other social media photos and it held true for them too, the more distracting the attire the more the bag slipped into the background.
Were you nervous that the pics of you in your undies were online?
Initially yes, especially the ones I had given The Couch to share on their TV show as I hadn’t even really had time to crop them to hide any inappropriate parts before I had to give them due to time frames clashing. I had no idea which ones they would choose to show.
Do you have any other feedback on your experience or words of advice to others who are struggling with their ostomy and body image?
Now I really do understand if right now you are not at the stage of baring it all in front of your partner let alone a photographer. It's taken me ten years, seven years of that with a super supportive loving partner to gain this confidence. However, you need to know that where ever you are in your self-confidence journey, you can feel sexy, beautiful and most importantly human again.
Thanks for reading! If you have any questions please dont hesitate to add them to the comments below and if you get a moment and haven't already please check out my Intro Post which confirms my verification and don't forget to have a fantastic day! @insideoutlet
For more ostomy related blogs checkout my webpage InsideOut Ostomy Life xx