I have been feeling rather anxious lately. Or I'm experiencing a whole buffet of emotions, some days I'm actually filled with joy. But when thinking about my near future, which means I'm not really present in the now, I easily feel a lot of resistance and I find myself close to tears. I can't help but wish things were different. But, of course, that kind of wishful thinking doesn't help and I do pull myself together and spend time doing things that I know are helpful for me.
Yesterday I decided to take my bike and go on a longer bike ride/walk than my usual daily walk. Just to see something else. I took the day off, not worrying about all the stuff I feel needs to be done and decided to just be. I brought my camera and was curious to play around a bit with macro photography, something that's new to me.
A lockdown message from a dustbin
Even though Berlin is considered a rather green city, with lots of parks, for someone who grew up in the countryside in Sweden, I always struggle to fully enjoy nature in a city. Because you are simply sharing it with so many, there's always someone else around. And that hasn't changed now in the current situation. Since going outside for a walk is pretty much all you can do, the parks are full of people. Especially in this sunny weather. And I crave solitude.
But I'm not here to complain, I feel grateful for still having the opportunity to go outside, I know this isn't the case in some countries, I talked to a friend in South Africa yesterday and she found joy in the very short walk to her dustbin outside her house, because that's the only fresh air she is allowed in the very strict lockdown enforced there.
Speaking of dustbins, I passed by this message on one yesterday. (I found it extra funny that the message came from a vegan pizza restaurant, Berlin is a very creative place after all).
I couldn't help but smile 🙂. I find it really fascinating how toilet paper has become this item that so many are panic buying. Of course, hoarding toilet paper isn't rational, it will not protect you from the virus and it's not something that's necessary for your survival. But if you see people around you buying a lot of toilet paper, it's easy to start thinking 'Oh no, there will be nothing left for me if everyone is hoarding toilet paper, I better buy some more myself'. But if everyone just bought what they actually needed there wouldn't be any shortage.
I also found this article interesting Coronavirus panic buying: The psychology behind toilet paper hoarding. A psychiatry professor at the University of British Columbia is quoted:
People feel the need to do something to keep themselves and their family safe, because what else can they do apart from wash their hands and self-isolate?
Also, some economists have suggested:
People may be trying to eliminate one risk that is relatively easy and superficial, rather than doing something more costly that may reduce their risk a greater amount.
I'm not so sure about what they actually mean by reducing their risk in a more costly way and I don't want to get too much into economic theory here. But at the moment I'm actually experiencing a renewed interest in economics. I didn't really see that coming. Interesting times for sure.
Getting close to plants and flowers brought me into the present moment
Once I reached the park with my bike I went for a walk in some kind of forest there. First I didn't really see so much that I found interestingly enough to photograph. But after a while I decided to get down on my knees so I could actually see all the abundance. And looking through my macro lens I was amazed by all this beauty. Soon I wasn't aware of the other people in the forest anymore. I was completely absorbed by these plants and flowers on the ground. And I couldn't believe I hadn't even noticed them before. As soon as I continued on my walk I just discovered more and more of this abundance. I found it deeply meditative. I was fully present in the Now and life felt so beautiful.
I'll quote Eckhart Tolle:
The moment you enter the Now with your attention, you realize that life is sacred. There is a sacredness to everything you perceive when you are present. The more you live in the Now, the more you sense the simple yet profound joy of Being and the sacredness of all life.
Most people confuse the Now with what happens in the Now, but that's not what it is. The Now is deeper than what happens in it. It is the space in which it happens.
So don't confuse the content of this moment with the Now. The Now is deeper than any content that arises in it.
This experience with the Now made me realize that lately, I haven't been able to be fully present, I haven't been in the right mind space. I think this also easily happens when you always see the same surroundings, which has been my case for a long time now.
I was happy to discover today though, as I went for a short walk to the laundromat and supermarket, that I still noticed all this abundance on the way. I was truly amazed. So many details I hadn't paid attention to before. It's really green outside even in the city center. Nature is so powerful right now. And looking through my macro lens helped me change my perspective, now I can see it, also without the lens.
At the supermarket a song was playing, repeating the lyrics "It's gonna be ok" over and over again. I don't know if that was intentional but it sure felt soothing. And I was mindful enough to notice.
Thanks for reading 🙏
Love and blessings to you all 💚
MINDFUL LIFE is a Natural Medicine project which supports meditators on HIVE
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