This is a segment of 🚀MISSION CONTROL🚀 With Me! @carrieallen that airs LIVE every TUESDAY 12 AM UTC on the Steemstar Network, hosted by our very own WITNESS @sircork. You know what to do.😎 And if you don't- just ask!😍

This debuted on May 7, 2018.

Written by @chrisroberts!

I'm looking for collaborators!

We will be needing more voice actors, some re-curring, some for single episodes. I'd also like to invite YOU to write a short script for us. They would need be able to be performed in UNDER 10 minutes, or broken up into 5 or 10-minute segments. We'll be primarily using these on my new Friday night show Steemstar After Dark. Running same time as Mission Control, but Fridays. Easy peasy. 🤩

Side note: Are you or someone you know a dev and/or witness? If yes- read on. 😎 It would be super great if we were able to EMBED a PDF viewer into our posts. I don't even know if that's possible, though I've literally tried all versions of HTML in attempt to make it work. The formatting of scripts is a toughy. We write it in a document in correct form, then no matter what I do, to copy/paste into a post adds a considerable amount of work. The ability to have a PDF viewer so folks can easily navigate the scripts, would be... again- SUPER. 😍 Lastly, there may be very good reason for not allowing this currently, one I'm just not privy to. However, in case no one's mentioned it... there it is Universe! It's out there! Do with it what you will! .... I thank you.

Are you behind an episode or two?

No fear!

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!

Space Carrie’s Adventures in Space - Episode 4

Written by @chrisroberts

CHARACTERS:

NARRATOR
ANNOUNCER
CAPTAIN CORK
SPACE CARRIE
HENRY THE ROBOT
LYDIA THE SEXY COMPUTER INTERFACE
DR. EVERETT P. SPLUDGE

NARRATOR

And now, the Steemstar Network is proud to present…
Space Carrie’s Adventures in Space!

SOUND FX - SPACE CARRIE TITLE

ANNOUNCER

Does your family love corn? Well, now you can have fresh
And delicious corn every day, with Steemstar Brand Space Corn!
Grown without sun, grown without water, grown without soil, but
But boy are they grown! Average ear length is three feet! So
Say goodbye to those expensive corn import charges today!
Steemstar brand Space Corn… It’s better cause space!

SOUND FX - STEEMSTAR FOR YOUR FAMILY

NARRATOR

When we last left our heroes, they had narrowly avoided a
Lifetime of imprisonment on the massive Cyborg Space Lair
Of Queen Tina Tyrannica, one of the Captain’s many exes.
With Captain Cork’s agreement to share the secrets of
Steemstar Laser technology, the evil cyborg queen had
allowed the party to leave, transporting them
Directly back to the Steem Starship.

Certainly now Space Carrie and her friends would be off to
Interplanetary Justice to collect the bounty for her now-famous
Defeat of the brutal pirate, Spacebeard. At least they will, should
Nothing else go wrong…

SOUND FX - MATRIX OF TELEPORTATION

After another bumpy ride through the mysterious matrix of
Teleportation, Space Carrie, Captain Cork, Henry the Robot
And Kevin the space-minstrel find themselves on the main
Deck of the Amazing Steem Starship...
But something is not right!

SPACE CARRIE

I’m not getting used to those teleports anytime soon. I see
What you mean, Henry, about feeling like your parts are in
The wrong order.

HENRY

Beep boop. Tell me about it. This time two of my wheels
Came out sideways, so now I can only go in circles. Beep boop.

CAPTAIN CORK

Don’t worry, Henry. We’ll get you right to the robo-garage--
What the-!? I have boobs!

SPACE CARRIE

[not noticing] Oh, grow up--- [noticing] You do have boobs!
Hey! That’s my body!
Why do you have my body, Captain?

CAPTAIN CORK

Now don’t panic, Space Carrie, but I’m not the only one with someone
Else’s body here. Henry, hold up a mirror for the lady, would you?

HENRY

Beep boop. Sure thing, Captain. Beep boop.

SPACE CARRIE

[In a panic] Arrgggg!! What’s happened? I have your body, Cork!

CAPTAIN CORK

Our heads must’ve got switched during the transport… I know
This is probably not what you want to hear right now, but it
Could be worse.

SPACE CARRIE

Oh, I’m sure it could be worse. Now I’ve got the body of a laser-happy
Space tool! Why do you have so many freaking lasers anyway?

CAPTAIN CORK

Careful with those! You haven’t taken the Steemstar training course; you could vaporize us all!

SPACE CARRIE

Ugh. I already miss the empty space between my legs. And give me
My laser sword.

KEVIN

SOUND FX - SHOULD I PLAY SOME MUSIC?

SPACE CARRIE

That might be nice, Kevin. Some relaxing music, if you would please.
I’m still processing what’s going on here.

SOUND FX - RELAXING MUSIC

SPACE CARRIE

So this is the magnificent Steem Starship?

CAPTAIN CORK

The one and only! In this ship, I travel the galaxy, broadcasting
The Steemstar Network far and wide. Wheeling, dealing, making
Deliveries, and fighting for truth and justice across the galaxy!

SPACE CARRIE

It’s nice.

CAPTAIN CORK

Oh, it’s more than nice. This ship holds wonders the likes of
Which you could never imagine! I can’t wait to give you the
Grand tour.

SPACE CARRIE

[Sarcastically]I’m aching with anticipation for the tour,
Captain Cork, but don’t you think we should deal with the
more pressing matter of the…Head-switching?
And leave those alone! They don’t belong to you.

CAPTAIN CORK

[distracted] But they’re just right here in front of me. And so hypnotic.

SPACE CARRIE

Hands off or I’ll blast you with one of your own tiny lasers!
So is it reversible or what?

CAPTAIN CORK

I’m mostly sure that the head-switch is reversible, but please don’t
Hate me… I don’t know how to do it.

SOUND FX - DUN DUN DUUUUUNNN

NARRATOR

Now our heroes find themselves deep in what Captain Cork
Likes to call a dilly of a space pickle. Will Captain Cork figure out
How to reverse the head-switching from the apparent transporter
Malfunction? It looks like Space Carrie and Captain Cork are stuck
With each other until then. How will they proceed? Find out after this
Brief message!

ANNOUNCER

Is little Johnny about ready for his first pack of Steemstar
Cigarettes? Let the smoky, savory aroma of Steemstar
Cigarettes create a bond between you and your son that will last
A lifetime.

JOHNNY

That smooth and delicious flavor! You’re the best, pop!

ANNOUNCER

I know, Johnny. I know.

SOUND FX - STEEMSTAR FOR YOUR FAMILY

NARRATOR

And we’re back aboard the Steem Starship, where only half
Of the heads are in the right places. Space Carrie has an idea.

SPACE CARRIE

Doesn’t this ship have some kind of super-intelligent computer
Interface that solves all your problems for you?

HENRY

Beep boop. That would be Lydia, and you should show her
Some respect. She can think circles around the entire human race.
Beep boop.

CAPTAIN CORK

You’re right! I forgot about Lydia! She’ll know what to do!
Wake up, Lydia!

SOUND FX - WHIRRING AND BEEPING

LYDIA

[phone sex voice] How can I service you today, Captain?

HENRY

Beep boop. Hello Lydia, you’re sounding lovely as always. Beep boop.

CAPTAIN CORK

Hi, Lydia, we’re back! And I’ve got some new friends. This is
Space Carrie.

SOUND FX - SPACE CARRIE

Does that happen every time I introduce you to someone?

SPACE CARRIE

Sure does. Every time, since birth. Get used to it.

CAPTAIN CORK

Whatever. And this is Kevin. He doesn’t talk, but he’s always
Playing music. Show her, Kevin.

SOUND FX -SEXY UNDERSCORING BEGINS

So Lydia. Space Carrie needs to get to Interplanetary
Justice to collect a bounty and I’m helping her out. Get this. She
Actually defeated Spacebeard in laser-sword battle.

LYDIA

[dripping with sexiness] Wow, Space Carrie. It’s certainly an honor
To have you aboard the Steem Starship. You sound like a real hero.

CAPTAIN CORK

Can you open your eyes, honey? We’ve got a little problem here…

LYDIA

[Exaggerated sexiness]I see! Your heads have been switched.
That is incredibly unfortunate, but I must say, Captain,
I like you with… curves.

SPACE CARRIE

Oh, for crying out loud. James, there’s an actual woman
here now, so could you have her dial back the sexy voice
thing or something?

CAPTAIN CORK

Sure, my bad. Lydia, honey? Could you be a doll and turn the sexy
Voice level down to four? Five. Five point five. [chuckling] Sorry,
Space Carrie. I hardly even think about it after all these years.

SOUND FX - CHANGE TO LESS SEXY MUSIC

LYDIA

Is this inflection more to your liking, Captain?

CAPTAIN CORK

That’s perfect, Lydia.

SPACE CARRIE

Ahem! What are we gonna do about our head situation. I don’t
Want your body for the rest of my life. It’s so... clumsy.

CAPTAIN CORK

Well, we can’t all be highly trained laser-sword masters like you.
I mean, if you ask me, it’s almost too much tone.
Your abs are literally like stone.

SPACE CARRIE

I work out. Eyes up. I already told you; hands off of those!

CAPTAIN CORK

Sorry. Do you have any great ideas, Lydia? You’re the
Hyper-smart mega-computer in the room.. Whatcha got for us?

HENRY

Beep boop. Lydia’s so great. beep boop.

LYDIA

Allow me to run a quick multi-galactic search. I’ll be with you
Shortly. [Quickly] Searching… searching… searching…

SOUND FX - DING DING DING

My intergalactic superdata multibase has yielded several results.
I was searching for experts in the practice of cranial re-transplantation,
With an emphasis on transporter-malfunction related issues. The
Nearest such expert appears to be a Dr. Everett P. Spludge.

SPACE CARRIE

That’s impressive, Lydia! Can you make us an appointment?

LYDIA

My intergalactic superdata multibase shows that Dr. Spludge
Offers vid-comm appointments, as well as remote psychic surgery.
According to my intergalactic super--

CAPTAIN CORK

[Cutting her off] We get it, Lydia! You have an Intergalactic Supdata
Multibase! I’m familiar with Everett Spludge! He does great work, but he’s
Pricey, and really popular. It might takes weeks to get an appointment.

SOUND FX - DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN

NARRATOR

How long will our heroes have to wait for their appointment?
Will the psychic surgeon, Dr. Spludge even be able to help them?
Will Space Carrie and Captain Cork be reunited with their respective
Bodies? Find out after this!

ANNOUNCER

Did you know that Steemstar Space Rubber is up to five times
Bouncier than other leading brands of rubber? Bounce like you’ve
Never bounced before, with Steemstar Space Rubber!

SOUND FX - BOUUNCY BOUNCY
SOUND FX - STEEMSTAR FOR YOUR FAMILY

NARRATOR

And now, thanks to the masterful arrangements of the
Steem Starship’s Computer Interface, Lydia, our heroes
find themselves in a video conference with Dr.
Everett P. Spludge himself. Hopefully he’ll know what to
Do about their… cranial kerfuffle…

DR. SPLUDGE

Okay… By the looks of it, we’ve got a classic case of
Transpo-malfunction-related head switching-- Wait a minute..
Is that Captain James T. Cork? I thought I recognized that head…
And that body. How have you been, James? Still shilling crap for Steemstar?

CAPTAIN CORK

Actually, I’m all that’s left of Steemstar. Corporate kept getting
In the middle of interplantetary conflicts. Got their headquarters
Blown up. What about you? It’s been space years. I see you’ve got
Quite a few more tentacles than the last time I saw you.

DR. SPLUDGE

Oh yeah. Three or four new ones pop up every single space year.
They’re getting to be a real nuisance. They kind of just wave around
Freely, but they each have a mind of their own, so they’re always
Grabbing onto things. Oh well, whaddya gonna do?

SPACE CARRIE

Pleased to meet you, Dr. Spludge. I’m Space Carrie.

SOUND FX - SPACE CARRIE

CAPTAIN CORK

Seriously? It even happens when you introduce yourself?

HENRY

Beep boop. Captain Cork is just jealous that he doesn’t
Have an intro jingle. Beep boop.

CAPTAIN CORK

I do so have a jingle. Lydia: Play Captain Cork Title!

SOUND FX - CAPTAIN CORK

See? Nothing to it.

HENRY

Beep boop. It’s just not as organic. And you had to ask for it. Beep boop.

SPACE CARRIE

So Dr. Spludge… Do you think you can help us? Although the Captain
Seems okay with his new body, I’d actually like mine back.

DR. SPLUDGE

Of course I can help you! In my thirty space-years of experience in this
Field, I’ve seen some nasty transporter accidents, and if you can believe
It, this one’s pretty run-of-the-space-mill. At least you’re both the same
Species.

CAPTAIN CORK

Tina probably did it on purpose anyway. Her transporter tech is usually
Pretty reliable… I think she was jealous of Space Carrie.

DR. SPLUDGE

Whatever got you into this mess, I can fix you right up with a simple,
Non-invasive psychic procedure right here from this video conference.
That’s the good news.

CAPTAIN CORK

What’s the bad news, Everett?

DR. SPLUDGE

It’s gonna cost you.

CAPTAIN CORK

Great… how much?

DR. SPLUDGE

Well, let’s see here… consultation fee, plus emergency
Vid-conference fee, plus on-call differential, plus psychic
Procedure cost and other applicable fees, minus 2% friends
And family discount…
That’s gonna come to 23 million Space Doge.

CAPTAIN CORK

Holy crap! That’s a lot of Space Doge!

HENRY

Beep boop. I think you should pay; he’s got you over a
Space barrell. Beep boop.

CAPTAIN CORK

C’mon, Dr. Spludge… How about upping that friends and family
Discount to, say, 5%?

DR. SPLUDGE

I’m afraid not, Captain. We’re not that close. And I have 17 broods
To feed back home. You’re welcome to find someone else to fix
Your little problem…

CAPTAIN CORK and SPACE CARRIE

No!

SPACE CARRIE

[ASIDE, to JAMES] Just pay the Doctor, James. You have the money, don’t you?

CAPTAIN CORK

Of course I have the money. I just don’t know…

SPACE CARRIE

Give me a break! What’s a measly 23 million Space Doge
When we’re on our way to pick up my 100 gazillion Space Doge
Bounty?

HENRY

Beep boop. Just think, Captain. You’ll be a gazillionaire. Beep boop.

LYDIA

Captain, I’m prepared to transfer the Space Doge
Coins to Dr. Spludge On your command.

CAPTAIN CORK

Thank you, Lydia, but I’m just not sure…

SOUND FX - DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN

NARRATOR

Will Captain Cork loosen the grip on his space wallet and fork
Over the 23 million Space Doge Coins to Dr. Spludge? Without the
Help of Dr. Spludge, our heroes’ bodies may never be reunited with their
Heads. Has Captain Cork become accustomed to his new, expertly
Toned female body, or will he return it to Space Carrie, its original
Owner? Though they are back on the Steem Starship, our heroes
Seem to now face space predicament after space predicament. Will
They ever make it to Interplanetary Justice to retrieve Space Carrie’s
Bounty? Will they ever be gazillionaires? Find out next time
On Space Carrie’s Adventures in Space!

SOUND FX - SPACE CARRIE TITLE
SOUND FX - STEEMSTAR FOR YOUR FAMILY
END

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