We often think that if one of the partners is cheating it means that there are problems in the relation. The person lived with it for a long time but finally decided to be unfaithful. It happens but many adulteries happen when somebody could not resist seduction.
But I have read about one technique which can help you to prevent doing something you can regret later. Psychologists say the idea of all seductions is a conflict between getting it now and getting it later. They offered an example like the pleasure from eating chocolate now or having a slim figure later. Buying something now with a credit card or saving money and buying later without paying interest, getting pleasure from sex now or being happy in marriage after?
It is very easy to choose the immediate pleasure as all of your body is ready for that. But there is a way to stop yourself.
They had an experiment. You can read about it here. The seduction was a transparent box with chocolates and the participants should carry it with themselves for 48 hours and it was forbidden to eat them. The participants were divided into 3 groups. One group just got the task not to eat chocolate. The second one was recommended to get distracted and suppress the wish to eat chocolate. The third was recommended the technique "observe-but-don't do".
And the third group showed the best result. They repeated the experiment and the result was the same. The direct ban worked well with the people who didn't have a big wish but for those who really wanted something very much it was better to use the method "observe-but - don't do".
"Observe - but - Don't Do" Principles:
The psychologist Zigmantovich explained how this method works. The method is based on the following principles:
- If thoughts and wishes arise, let them. Don't fight with them, don't try to distract yourself from them.
- Nobody presses you to give in to these thoughts and wishes. Yes, you have them. No problems. You are separated. Thoughts are separated.
- Remember why it is important to you not to do what your thoughts and wishes push you to do. Remember and don't do. But let the thoughts stay.
How it works:
A married man is at a party and there is a young gorgeous lady flirting with him. He understands that sex with her will not help his marriage but she looks so appetizing.
The best way is to go home but he can't.
First, don't try to avoid the girl. It will strengthen seduction.
The second, the man shall remember that being horny doesn't force him to give in. This feeling exists but to give in or not is his choice and decision. He can even realize this wish with his wife.
The third, it is useful to think of his wife and his main purpose to live with her happily ever after.
All that can help to refrain from cheating.
So, if the wish is not strong you can try to distract but if the desire is very strong it is more efficient to observe but don't do.
I think this method can be helpful to the people who want to lose weight, stop smoking and with other bad habits.
I will try to use it when I really want sweets.))))))))))))))))
Yours, @aksinya.