O Father, where art thou?
God once asked Adam, “Where art thou?” (Genesis 3:9).
God did not ask this question to gain information, but instead had two other purposes in mind. One was to cause Adam to think about his situation; what he had done and what he was doing.
The second reason was truth.
God wanted Adam to be honest, and to confess his sin.
Likewise, my question may not be as it seems. I am certainly not asking God the Father where He is, but instead, I am asking you, Dad. My question is also one designed to cause thought and reflection, and I hope that you can be honest.
My fellow man, in regard to your role as a father, where are you?
How are you doing in your role as the spiritual leader of your household?
Has your heart turned to your children?
Do you know what your purpose is in the life of your children?
Family is so very important to God, and it was Him who designed not only the concept of a family in general, but the specific dynamics of your family as well. Though sin and poor choices may have caused your family not to live up to God’s perfect plan for you, He knew full well exactly what situation you would wind up in, so it is to that current state of being that I now speak.
The tragedy of our current society is not only the existence of all the fatherless homes, but it is also all those homes that might as well be fatherless.
The fathers, who are supposed to be strong, godly, kind, priests of their own homes are failing so severely that they might as well have left their family behind and moved on.
I do not write this to encourage these men to divorce their wives or to abandon their children, but the pathetic example of a male role model which they are currently providing may be doing more damage than if the children had no such “male role model”. Children are more than just a visual obstruction that blocks the television screen while you are trying to play video games.
Trust me, we are all failing in one way or another, and if your fatherhood is characterized by one form of failure or another, it is not too late. Rather than giving up, it is time to man up! Rather than being lazy and unconcerned, I would recommend that you pay close attention.
The lives and souls of your children are on the line, and I pray that their blood will not be on your head.
It is amazing how incredible the Bible is, and how it can speak to everyone right where they are at in life.
Though it speaks to all situations, we are usually only in one, or a few at a time.
If you have not yet read the entire volume of Scripture from the point of view of a father, I strongly recommend that you do so soon.
Being one who prefers to “go for the throat” rather than “beating around the bush,” please consider the following.
“And Moses made an end of speaking all these words to all Israel: And he said unto them, Set your hearts unto all the words which I testify among you this day, which ye shall command your children to observe to do, all the words of this law. For it is not a vain thing for you; because it is your life: and through this thing ye shall prolong your days in the land whither ye go over Jordan to possess it.” (Deuteronomy 32:45-47)
Here Moses has recapped the law of the Lord for the children of Israel as they prepare to finally enter the Promised Land. Moses knows that he will not enter it himself, and is in the process of finishing his role as the spiritual leader of this people of faith. He commands them to set their hearts on the law of the Lord, and to command their children to do so as well.
These two events must happen in this order.
To command your children to obey God without doing so yourself will prove disastrous as you model hypocrisy in front of their eyes. Seeking to know and obey God must first become your priority, before you can train your children that it should be theirs.
If your desire and goal in life is to grow in a deeper relationship with your Creator and Saviour and to live to please Him, then you are to command your children to obey His law as well.
If not, then I cannot be used to help you and I have no advice, other than to repent and receive the Lord.
God has placed your children under your authority, and you are to use this authority to teach your children to know and obey the ways of God. Since you are under God’s authority and He is commanding you to do so, you need not think that “command” is too strong of a word here. It is what God has prescribed, and it is the appropriate application of your authority in this situation.
Since it is “all the words of this law” that you are to “command your children to observe to do,” you may need to re-familiarize yourself with exactly what the Bible says first. There is nothing wrong with growing spiritually along with your children. As you learn, share, and try to be doing both on a daily basis.
The next verse is the one that stopped me in my tracks.
“For it is not a vain thing for you; because it is your life.”
“Your life!”
I realized that I had many things getting in the way of what God said my life is.
After some reflection, I had to agree with Him on this issue.
My life was to be invested in the lives of my children; first and foremost on a spiritual level, since their eternal souls will most certainly outlast their physical bodies.
Reading through this passage from the perspective of a father, I realized that God says my life is to set my heart on Him and His ways and to command my children to obey Him as well.
Though some debate may exist over the first part of that verse, “For it is not a vain thing for you;” the options are limited.
I submit that only two real options may exist.
One option is faithfulness.
Perhaps it is not in vain for us to command our children to observe the Lord’s way because if we do, we are being faithful, and God simply wants us to be faithful.
I wholeheartedly agree that God desires us to be faithful in many areas, childrearing included, but I prefer to believe that there is an even greater reason as to why such faithfulness is not in vain:
fruitfulness
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
This verse is either a promise, or it is not, and I have met people who believe both options.
Some claim this as a promise from God, and some that it is a good principle, but not an absolute promise.
Whatever one may choose to believe, it does not dismiss the fact that some Christian parents successfully raise all their children into the mature Christian life without having any depart, even for a season, and other Christian parents never successfully have any children enter the next generation of believers.
Do some succeed in training up their children in the way that they should go while others fail with at least some, if not regrettably all, of their children?
Personally I believe that we indeed do have a responsibility and calling, and that this is a promise. If I “Train up a child in the way he should go,” then “when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Since all four of my children are very young, you may ask if my belief about this verse would change if one (or more) of my children eventually departs from the faith when they are older.
I must honestly say that all that would mean is that I did not properly train up my children in the way that they should go, and somewhere along the line I failed in teaching my children to observe the ways of God and His law.
Though that would be a horrible, humbling reality, the error would still be on my part, and I would be to blame.
God and His word would still remain true as recorded, and I would have failed.
Though it is simply my speculation, I believe that so many are prone to dismiss the potential promise of this verse for the same reason that others will not believe in “once saved, always saved.”
Much like students under an atheistic, evolutionary professor, they somehow believe that their perceived “evidence” has more credibility than the Bible, rather than contemplating that they may be misinterpreting the situation, or “evidence.”
People who dismiss the “once saved, always saved” view must disregard or explain away passages such as Ephesians 1:12-14, “That we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted in Christ. In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory.”
We are either sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, which is the down payment of our inheritance, or we are not, but Scripture says that we are.
If someone seems to be a believer and then departs from the faith, “They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us” (1 John 2:19).
Though those who depart may have fooled some believers, and perhaps even themselves, they were not saved, despite however things may have appeared.
Likewise, if a child departs from the faith, I believe that they were not trained up properly, according to God’s divine plan.
Does this mean that I am saying that Christian parents who have raised ungodly, unbelieving children have failed?
You can judge that for yourself, but they certainly did not succeed!
I believe that every parent, past or present, can say that there is room for improvement in many, if not every, area of parenting.
Our failures can easily be seen with minimal honesty and reflection time, yet, we are such a proud people, even as Christians, that many would rather negate the promise of God than to admit that they failed. Woe to those who set such an example for the following generations!
Did you know that Abraham was called a friend of God at least three times in the Bible?
“And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God.” (James 2:23)
“Art not thou our God, who didst drive out the inhabitants of this land before thy people Israel, and gavest it to the seed of Abraham thy friend for ever?” (2 Chronicles 20:7)
“But thou, Israel, art my servant, Jacob whom I have chosen, the seed of Abraham my friend.” (Isaiah 41:8)
What an honour to be known by God as His friend, and to be known by others as a friend of God as well.
Why did God choose him though?
One reason is what God knew about him.
“For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.” (Genesis 18:19)
God knew that Abraham would “command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD.”
What does God know about you?
Will you rise to such obedience, leading to success?
You will not succeed unless you obey the Lord, that much is certain.
I exhort you to fail not in the stewardship of the souls of your children.
Our hearts must be turned to our children.
For me, it happened early last year. I pray that if it has not happened for you yet, that now would be the time. Turn your heart to your children.
The Old Testament ends with this tragic passage:
“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” (Malachi 4:5-6)
Two events were used of the Lord to finally encourage me to “get with His program” as a father, and turn my heart towards my children.
The first event God used was a visit with a Christian family in St. Louis on a return trip from Texas. Though my brother, Dave, was away on business and not home during our stay, his wife and fourteen children were. Since the father of the family was absent, I could not see his leadership in practice, however, the evidence of his intentional leadership remained, even in his absence.
Though there were still scuffles and tears amongst the children, they were but a brief event, and did not typify the interaction of the family members.
As I observed the rare demeanor and obedience of the children, I knew at that point that I was missing something in my fatherhood, namely the daily time as a family in the word and with our God. With increasing consistency since, we have been succeeding in a daily family devotion time.
The second event that occurred was a gathering of many believers in a home for fellowship, prayer, and sharing. Unfortunately, the tone of the meeting was exceedingly somber and appeared to me to carry the atmosphere of a funeral wake more than a gathering to celebrate our Lord and Saviour.
As well, there were only two children besides ours that I can recall being there, with many adults and elderly. Since our three children, ages four, two, and one at the time, were incredibly unruly and disobedient, the meeting was quite disrupted and distracted by our attendance.
At the time I chose to blame the manner of the meeting, claiming in my mind that if the meeting wasn’t so dry and rigid, then naturally my children would not be so disruptive.
However, my wife had a different, more accurate view. Afterwards, she mentioned to me that *if a man of God should rule his own children and house well (1 Timothy 3:4 & 12), then the behavior of my family at that meeting really did not speak very well of me.
Indeed, I could not disagree, and my guilt in the matter only fueled my desire to seriously man up.
One of the best ways to share the Lord’s ways with your children is practical application. When you encounter situations throughout the day that you can apply Scripture to, please do, explaining to your child how the Bible applies to daily life by using specific examples.
Of course since God’s word is sharp, quick, and powerful (Hebrews 4:12) and will not return void (Isaiah 55:11), it is best to pause and open the Bible, reading verbatim exactly what God says on the subject if you do not have the applicable verse(s) memorized. If no Bible is available, or if you do not have the exact verse(s) memorized, then applying the concept of what God says will suffice.
It would still be wise to review the situation later with an open Bible, which will reinforce the practical application with your children. The other way that practical application can be demonstrated and shared with your children is testimony. Share with your children the times in your life when God mightily stepped in and rescued you or prepared a path for you. Share with your children how the Lord has answered your prayers and provided for your needs.
The “Song of Moses” as recorded in Deuteronomy 32:1-43 is a testimony of such remembrance. God commanded Moses:
“Now therefore write ye this song for you, and teach it the children of Israel: put it in their mouths, that this song may be a witness for me against the children of Israel.” (Deuteronomy 31:19)
This recollection of all that God had done for them was prepared prior to the Israelites finally entering the Promised Land.
They were to memorize it so that they would not later forget and rebel against God. It was to be a witness against them when they did rebel, testifying that they had no excuse or reason to turn their back on God. Though you may not arrange the ways that God has worked in your life into a song and have your children memorize it, you would do well to tell, and re-tell, the stories of God’s protection and provision in your life, so that they are very familiar to your children.
“I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments: And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation that set not their heart aright, and whose spirit was not stedfast with God.” (Psalm 78:2-9)
“Tell ye your children of it, and let your children tell their children, and their children another generation.” (Joel 1:3)
You may even want to consider using some sort of memorial. Of course, be wary of idolatry, but a peculiar object to prompt thought and questions has proved beneficial in times past.
When Joshua and the Israelites crossed over the Jordan, they took stones “according unto the number of the tribes of the children of Israel: That this may be a sign among you, that when your children ask their fathers in time to come, saying, What mean ye by these stones? Then ye shall answer them, That the waters of Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD; when it passed over Jordan, the waters of Jordan were cut off: and these stones shall be for a memorial unto the children of Israel for ever” (Joshua 4:5b-7).
Was there a car accident that God spared you in? Perhaps a framed picture on the mantle of the wreckage would spark some good conversation with your children, as well as others.
That is simply an example.
You know what God has done for you, and what, if anything, to use as a visual reminder of the awesomeness of our God.
To close, I must share two more things from the word of God, and point out that Scripture is very narrow. It is the job of the parents, with the primary focus falling on the fathers, to raise and teach their children. You will not find youth pastors, youth groups, or schools within the pages of Scripture.
It is not the job of someone else to raise and teach your children. God has given this task to you.
“And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)
Again we see that these words must first be in your heart, and then you should teach them to your children.
You need to seek and obey God first, and then you need to teach your children.
To “teach diligently” means to impress and repeat. You need to impress the ways of God upon your children. You need to be repeating your teaching all the time. There are those who have pointed out that this should be done continually, all day long. This passage says to do so when you are at home, and when you are not at home, and when you are lying down, and not lying down. That should cover any possibility that you may encounter throughout the day. You either are at home, or you are not. You are either lying down, or you are not.
Perhaps understanding how slow and stiff-necked we are, as well as deeply desiring our obedience and success, God repeats Himself just five chapters later.
“Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes. And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” (Deuteronomy 11:18-19)
The teaching of our children is a role that God has delegated and entrusted specifically and perhaps even exclusively, to us.
What should be our response to this charge from our Maker?
Souls are on the line, and so is our faithfulness.
Where are you, Dad?
This is your life!
Turn your heart to your children and command them in all the ways of God.
It is not a vain thing for you; it is your life.
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)
2+2=4
Thanks, @narrowminded
In case you missed them,
Narrowminded Views #1 : Jesus Christ : Crucified, Drawn & Quartered, Or Both?
Narrowminded Views #2 : When A Day Is Just A Day
[Narrowminded Views #3 : As Much As Lieth In You](@narrowminded/narrowminded-views-3-as-much-as-lieth-in-you-understanding-relational-responsi
Narrowminded Views #4 : Life Essentials Survival Guidebility-and-it-s-effects-on-fellowship-and-prayer)
Narrowminded Views #5 : Short Terms Missions
Narrowminded View #6 : Backwards Christianity