I threw my shoes away, and walked barefoot in the cold and wet streets of Amsterdam.
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Why would I do something that incredibly stupid ,you might rightfully ask.
Well, my shoes were falling apart, as I brought already disintegrating shoes with me to Steemfest.
Why did I do that? It's called ADHD, and it's something that I constantly struggle with.
I constantly forget things , I lose things, and I mess things up.
And I sometimes suffer from low impulse control.
So my shoes were falling apart, and they were smelly, and I thought : "Fuck this, I will buy new shoes!" And I threw my shoes away. To top all of this both my travelling bags were also broken, and I threw them away as well,
in the same frenzied proccess.
Then I came up against a major problem.
It's called capitalism.
All the shoes had the price of my remaining travel budget, after already having missed two bus connections.
Did I mention ADHD? Combined with sleep deprivation, it 's a very potent recipe for a series of major fuck-ups.
I was on the brink of despair, my toes were freezing, and soon I passed the brink of despair, and sat down and cried.
There, I put it on the blockchain.
That is what freezing toes, sleep deprivation, your own stupidity, and fucking expensive shoes can do to you.
But I got up again, and managed to find a pair of affordable shoes, after buying new travelling bags.
It sounds crazy, but I'm happy about this experience, in hindsight.
It is good to cry, it's cleansing. I hardly ever do it. I have decided to do it more often. And I came in contact with a basic reality of the human condition.
We are all quite vulnerable, we have constant needs that needs to be filled, and we are dependent on other people .