Author: Dr. Bryan
You scoured the internet. You almost broke your fingers typing "SteemIt is a scam" six hundred times into Google. Finally, dear reader, you have found the article that proves you RIGHT! Hunker down and behold the top seven reasons why SteemIt is a SCAM. See you on the other side.
1) SteemIt gives you almost instant feedback on your creative work
[image credit: public domain]
You post something, and within a few hours you have a pretty darn good idea of what people think about it. How can this be possible? Scam.
2) SteemIt encourages you to share something creative every day
[image credit: public domain]
This must be some kind of conspiracy! A machine forcing humans to be creative? Scam.
3) SteemIt members include early Internet and Facebook adopters
[image credit: that's me - click it for my life story]
Some people on this site were around back when the internet was gaining traction - and even used "Bulletin Board Systems" (BBS), and modems (modulator-demodulators, duh) that consisted of a phone sitting in a cradle.
[image source: wikipedia. Old people used this.]
Some of them also joined Facebook back when you had to be a college student to do so and it was so buggy that it was almost unusable.
Cleary these people are crazy and this must be a scam. Scam.
4) SteemIt members include Math, Biology, and Physics Ph.D.'s who have done research at Fermilab, CERN, IBM (and others)
[image credit: that's mine.]
Any site which draws the attention of these kinds of left wing, liberal, ivory tower ACADEMICS must be a scam. Scam.
p.s. I'm not the only one, but don't want to mention others in this post unless they request it.
5) SteemIt backs up your writing for all time by storing it in a blockchain - you never worry about your blog post being lost
[image credit: public domain]
With other sites such as Wordpress.com and Medium.com , you sign up, pour your heart out into a bunch of pages and those pages are stored safe and sound in the database that company owns. Safe and sound, forever, right? That's right, until they decide you violated their terms and your blog is gone forever. Or, it's five years later (to all you kids out there, this may seem like a long time but someday you'll want to find a blog post you wrote five years ago, I promise - now get off my lawn) and yet another startup didn't work out and your post is gone, poof, casper, vanished. With SteemIt, your post is stored in a blockchain (the Steem blockchain), which is replicated across many computers and owned by no one. It's basically the underground nuclear bunker of data storage. And Bitcoin, the first (and therefore the most "experimental" at the time) blockchain ever created, is still around after seven years. The Steem (and Bitcoin) blockchain will probably be around for a lot longer than that (possibly longer than you and me). Clearly, this kind of black magic must be a scam. Scam.
6) SteemIt requires no difficult qualification process to get paid
[image credit: gif soup - this gif has been around forever, wonder why?]
Clearly, as unknown peons who just write content we should have to click agree to six hundred forms, jump through seven hoops (Hit the 
button now... SUBMIT!!!), live in a certain country, and wait for some jerk at a company named after a big number to disapprove of our account in order to qualify to maybe get paid someday. Then, when we are lucky enough to possibly get paid (yes, thank you SIRS!) we should wait sixty days for them to send the check by snail mail (oh GOD thank you!!). SteemIt doesn't require this, in fact everyone gets paid by default within about 24 hours. Therefore. Scam.
7) SteemIt pays you within 24 hours
[image credit: public domain]
SteemIt pays you within about 24 hours and forces you to put half the Steem Dollars into a "savings" account (how dare it make you invest in your future?), and then allows you to immediately withdraw the other half of the Steem Dollars for cash (via Bitcoin) that very day at your friendly local Bitcoin ATM (or via LocalBitcoins.com) - or via an online Bitcoin site like Circle (though that will take longer than a day). Wait, Bitcoin - did you say BITCOIN - that illegal ... THING. Clearly CLEARLY. Scam.
In Conclusion: Scam.
In conclusion, any system that does all of this is impossible, irrational, unsustainable, unapproachable, undeniable, infatigable and must be a SCAM. Four alarm, no joke, do you know where your children are right now SCAM. Therefore SteemIt is a SCAM.
p.s. All images are linked to their sources.
p.p.s. You know the scam part was satire... right?