Our boy Terry has done it again.

His latest contest brings up a lot of questions for us to ponder. After reading @greenrun's entry, I decided to participate as well. I hastily drew this picture of myself and in it you can see who I really am. The upturned eyebrows give way to my true nature which is filled with a kind of ever-present mild panic. I like to think that I am served panic pancakes each morning by a nasty little elf, and that one day, I will find which cabinet this elf lives in and kick him out for good.

Until then...I'm stuck with those worry brows.

I don't know who I am actually. If I had to describe it though, I would say that I am extremely sensitive, almost to the point of it making myself ill on occassion. Loud sounds tend to pierce through me, and the list of things that make me feel a sense of panic is endless. The only thing I feel I am good at it is observing things in the world and taking notes on it.

If I look back at what I found myself doing naturally it was making up stories about people and trying to predict what they would do next. I used to spend some days in search of working people and just watch them. I tried hard to imagine what was going through their minds as they carried out their robotic work. Taking notes on absurd things has also been a staple in life.

I also used to drive people crazy by asking them too many questions. Now I have mostly just retreated into the internet to get my answers.

Curiosity.

Being overly curious has led to many wonderful things. It also has led to me getting into loads of trouble as an adult. As a child I was shy and quiet, afraid of authority. As an adult, however, I came out of this fear-shell, and have tended to challenge any authority that stands in my way. This kind of personality doesn't fit well into any corporate job, and I have instigated some rather dramatic exits from jobs that I considered to be slightly above prison. If there is anything I do consider to be a killer of the human spirit it is this: jobs that restrict human creativity through fear. And there is plenty of that in the world. We must dissolve this.

Simple

I have no need for fancy things and I feel more comfortable doing without. I don't like to waste things or buy things that have no practical value. I dream not about buying a yacht or a Lambo, but about becoming energy independent with solar panels, Tesla's Home Battery, etc. I can envision becoming free in all the ways possible. That's what I have my sights set on.

Determined.

It is only through hardship of being a single parent that my fierce determination emerged. Starting from 10 years ago, I made many different attempts to get free and freedom for me meant that I get to use my innate creativity on a daily basis and not starve to death. I read Tim Ferris' book The 4 Hour Work Week some years ago, and that book planted the seed for me. After my 4th business failed, I realized there is something non-businessy about me. I am much more excited by ideas than anything else. It was quite recently, 2015, that I decided I was going to write my super personal book, Un-Crap Your Life. The impetus was mostly fear, as I had at that time become afraid of dying without writing a book. Once I wrote it, it was like a huge weight had been lifted off myself. I could die without regrets. I started about 6 other books, and couldn't finish them. It was around this time, when I was hired as a science writer for Interesting Engineering, and all the signals kept pointing to writing.....then I found Steemit.

I still can't believe this place is real, after a year and a half.

And finally, I am I think a lonely person who has failed at a lot of things, so when I found some success recently, I tended to question its reality, or believe it would somehow be snatched from me. Lonely not because there is a lack of people around me. Lonely because I feel strange and don't connect on a deep level with most people.

Thanks for reading and thanks to @surpassinggoogle for creating this great contest! Here's his original post that describes the contest: @surpassinggoogle/steemit-s-untalented-is-in-beta-participate-freely-because-every-participant-in-this-contest-will-win-something-no-losers