'Daylight Saving Time' sounds ridiculous because it is, but I've decided to fully support the program.
Concerning 'Daylight Saving Time', I'm hereby discontinuing my campaign for the peaceful reform and elimination of the 'fall back an hour' time change ritual.
In fact, I am now reversing my stance, and will now fully support the time change ritual on the designated days, twice a year, as if it were a sensibly dictated and meaningful cause.
This deliberate flip-flop on my previous stance on DST is mostly because nobody cares, and I can see now that people will accept just about anything if it is official-sounding enough. Also, most of my clocks change automatically, so I barely noticed the 'fall back' thing with the clocks this year, so I'm feeling the apathy.
Why do the clocks get changed anyway? War, probably. Who really cares? Google it, if it sounds like something of interest. I'm going to mindlessly support the whole thing no matter what anybody says, twice a year, at least.
"Indubitably, Bob, that was one of the best Daylight Saving Times in recent memory."
To be clear-- 'Daylight Saving Time' sounds ridiculous because it is, but again, I've decided to fully support the program. I will insist on the importance of mindlessly setting back the clocks every year, because if I enthusiastically get behind it, I'm pretty sure that I can make it look so absurd that people will demand that it be stricken from the program, just so that their children will stop laughing at them.
"Daylight saving time, yeah... no, I think I get it. Am I adopted?"
For years, I have been an outspoken critic of such pointless tampering with the clocks, and my apparent change of heart may come as a surprise to many of you. Some of my supporters might insist that I was paid off by somebody to make this reversal on my stance, but I can assure you that this decision was mine alone. I have a plan.
My plan is to infiltrate the system, posing as a rabid advocate for Daylight Saving Time clock tampering, and through guilt-by-association, I'll have it wrecked in no time. When it comes to credibility, it's amazing how much damage an old guy with a beard can do if he's wearing a tutu, or maybe some Ughs. I'll get a slick talking desk and a microphone and be an international pity on TV-- a Utube sensation, and just a shame to witness. I'll froth at the mouth about how everybody must do their duty screwing around with clocks biannually, and that they must do it with extreme religious conviction, and be like me.
That's it then-- I'm done complaining, and if you still want to help, simply join in, make it stupid, and make everyone wish for an early Spring Forward, so that the madness can end. Make sure that it's laced with absurdity. Make the people say to themselves, and to the world, out loud, "NEVER AGAIN".
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all images above thanks to Pixabay
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