RE: #ZapFic contest: tell me a tale in 240 characters or less (results of last week, and new prompt)

Shed the pounds, you giant ox.
If not, you shall never find a fox.
It's really hard to find a beauty.
If you keep that big patootie.
Chances are you'll be a loner.
If she can't see, that blue veined boner.
Chubby chasers are aplenty, find a cook!