Have you ever been less than perfectly honest? Regrettably, I have, and this article is ... a confession.

You see ... I've been living a lie. And a pretty big one at that.

In my own defense, I had my reasons and none of them were malicious. I was only trying to protect myself from the trials and tribulations of the world ... for, I promise you, the world can be cold and uncomforting. But, as the maxim goes, "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."

Nothing is free.

And that includes a price to be paid for denying who and what you are.

For denying Your Truth.

And so, after much soul-searching, I've decided to come clean.

To come out of the closet. I am ...

... Satoshi.

I know this will come as a shock to many of you.

"Not QuillFire!!! He was always so ... poor! Just a filthy Plankton with a $0.01 upvote."

Well ... I was pretending. I'm actually filthy rich.

I know, I know ... a lot of you are feeling deceived by my duplicity. Even betrayed. And friends ... you have every right to be angry. I didn't trust you with the truth. I could have DM'd you. You would have kept my secret.

I'm am truly sorry ... and beg you to give me a chance to explain.

Once Bitcoin started taking off, my life changed ... dramatically. Beautiful women started throwing themselves at me. Everyone started telling me how brilliant I was, how I was changing the world. At first, I'll admit, it was a heady experience. Who doesn't like being compared to Euler? And who can honestly say he objects to his lawn being littered with the naked and nubile?

But then I started to notice the dark underbelly of my success.

All those naked women ... wanted Lambos.

Not Corollas or Altimas, eminently more practical cars ... but bloody Lambos. And they wanted me to pay for the gas and insurance too.

Did they really want me for me ... or was it just my money?

I started asking some tough questions ... and I didn't like the answers. Did I really possess a body like Adonis? Was my manhood really longer than that of a horse? Was I really smarter than Archimedes, Aristotle and Einstein combined?

I decided to go to ground. To disappear. To discover who "Satoshi" really was.

And so, I sold everything except my mansion in Hawaii and my red Ferrari. To make sure they stayed safe in my absence, I did a deal with a PI, trading room and board for perimeter security. I locked my Bitcoin Owner Keys in a bank safety deposit box and embarked upon a Voyage of Self-Discovery.

A Journey of Self-Exploration.

... I bought a KIA Sedona and became a Life Coach.

I created a website offering my services. Slim pickings. So, I SEO'd the site for greater search engine exposure. Still, nothing. I even wrote an E-Book for Millennials: "Coddle Yourself Into Crisis"($4.99 on Amazon). As it turns out, no one but New Age lunatics think that "Life Coach" is an actual profession. And, as it turns out ... New Age lunatics don't have any money.

Eventually, I stumbled upon Steemit. Although I'd sworn off cryptocurrencies, I thought I could approach them from the other side. As a mere mortal, instead of as a deity. And so, I opened an account:

QuillFire.

I became a poet.

If the world poopoos on Life Coaches ... it positively pisses on Poets.

Nevertheless, I persevered, alliterating at every opportunity. I published one beautiful poem after another. All in the hopes of being discovered by a whale. To no avail. (Whale, avail ... did you catch that? It's a gift few appreciate.) My post-payouts were a pittance. I noticed that a lot of people were making bread by making bread ... so I tried my hand at a cuisine post.

Quill's Whale Tail Stew ... $0.19.

If I'm being honest, I was getting a bit lonely and starting to pine for female companionship. And so, I created a post:

I thought it was quite sincere, even poignant, and would generate a bit of interest.

Seven upvotes, $0.78 payout ... and 1 comment.

@shadow3scalpel (51)

Beep! Beep! @shadow3scalpel at your service. I am here to assist all military members on Steemit. This HumVee will be scouting posts from a list of Veterans that is maintained by @chairborne. If you are a Veteran and new to Steemit, and you have questions or want to join the Veterans community, reply to this comment. We got your six, unless you are in the rear with the gear. Ooh-Rah!

A Veterans' Group message-bot.

"Ooh-Rah!" lacked the intimacy for which I yearned.

Things weren't turning out the way I'd hoped. And so, a few weeks ago, I reappraised my situation ... and what I discovered ... surprised me.

I wanted my f***ing Lambos back! And all those naked girls too. And there's a dufus Witness here on Steemit I want to downvote into oblivion.

What had I been thinking?

I had been Living the Dream!

And hence, I began selling Bitcoins so I could buy in big on Steemit. Admittedly, in my newfound enthusiasm, I may have overdone it ... crashing the price of Bitcoin by a thousand bucks and taking the alt-coins with it.

My bad.

In any event, while it may take me a bit longer than anticipated to make the switch, rest assured I will soon be swinging from the chandeliers and STEEM will be trading at $1,000.

There's a new Sheriff in town.

Girls ... DM me.

Quill (Satasohi)

You guys know the drill. Be verbose ... but articulate.

And remember ...

Go Love A Starving Poet

For God's sake ... they're starving!