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Good day, my fellow Steemers and Whalesharers! This is the 57th part of my series post about local Filipino jokes which I have translated for people of the English language. Please read and pick the ones you like best from this post series. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.

I think nobody in Steemit and Whaleshares has done this kind of post series before. So I took it upon myself to do it even if you think it might not be popular or profitable. I just wanted to be the first to do this kind of thing. It would be up to you to decide, my fellow readers, if I was successful or not.

There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that we need to be translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.

Read and enjoy!

Emergency call

BOY:(Calling 911) Hello? I need your help!
POLICE DISPATCH: Okay, calm down. What is it?
BOY: Two girls are fighting over me!
POLICE DISPATCH: So what is the emergency?
BOY: The ugly one is winning!

Former love

ANNA: Is the famous romantic quote, "First love never dies", really true?
JENNY: Why did you ask that?
ANNA: Because my good-for-nothing EX is still alive! I hope he dies!

Perfume

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SIDEWALK VENDOR: Perfumes for sale! High quality and cheap! The best one changes to a different scent a day for 7 days a week!
LADY: I'll take that! It smells wonderful! What is it called?
SIDEWALK VENDOR: It's called, "Snow White and the 7 Dwarves", ma'am.

One week later...

LADY: I want a refund! You tricked me! It smells horrible on the 7th day!
SIDEWALK VENDOR: Oh, no! The 7th dwarf has died!

Communist insurgent meeting

An important meeting was held by the Filipino communist rebel group New People's Army (NPA) in the mountains of a remote province. One of its top officers, Comrade Roger, was angry at the performance of 3 members.

COMRADE ROGER: You, Tony! Who is Karl Marx? Do you know him?
TONY: No, comrade.
COMRADE ROGER: There! There! This is what happens when you don't attend our Communist Party meetings! Karl Marx was the Father of Communism! You, Ken, do you who Lenin is?
KEN: No, comrade.
COMRADE ROGER: There! There! This is what happens when you don't attend our Communist Party meetings! Lenin was the Russian founder of the world's first communist state! You, Benny! Who is Felino Cebini?
BENNY: I don't know him, comrade. But do you know who Robert Santos is?
COMRADE ROGER: Robert Santos? Who? What are you talking about? I don't know anyone with that name!
BENNY: There! There! This is what happens when you always attend our Communist Party meetings! Robert Santos is the man sleeping with your pretty wife every night you attend our Communist Party meetings!

Lights eater

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BOY: My Father could eat lights!
GIRL: How can you say that?
BOY: I overheard my father last night saying, "Lie down and kill the lights, honey. I'm going to eat it!"

Translated from Source: http://www.jokespinoy.com/

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