Love is the basis - education from the heart
Of course, you love your children - but do you show that too? Do you educate your child lovingly or rather with rigor and authority? Are you able to set limits and show them to your child again and again with love?
The current educational debates can easily create uncertainties here. On the one hand consistency, discipline and limits are important, on the other hand a child should get affectionate attention from his parents without being pampered however. Since many of today's parents are still educated differently, it is often difficult to reconcile love and consequence.
One of the most common educational mistakes
Children need to be constantly guided and guided, only to see what is good and what is wrong, to learn the rules of behavior towards others, and to develop into full members of society. This view is still prevalent today and can be seen everywhere where parents and children are in public together. Of course it is right, a child has to learn a lot, but parents often forget that toddlers learn almost exclusively by imitation and try anyway. They need support in order for them to dare to move freely and to take the risk of making a mistake. This support they gain in the first place through the love of the parents. A child who feels loved and accepted is courageous, knowing that nothing bad can happen to him, and if so, the parents are there to save it.
Children need love and security
Violence in education has fatal consequences for the child. A hostile behavior of the parents and physical punishment create fear, the feeling of not being loved and feelings of guilt. "I am not right." This insight is felt in children who are carelessly educated and leads to withdrawal, mistrust and a lack of self-esteem. And not only the child suffers a damage. The adult knows well that his behavior is inappropriate and withdraws emotionally, so as not to feel his own feelings of guilt. He also loses his compassion for his child, for others, and continues a style of education that he probably already experienced as a child.
Show love
How do you show a child that you love it? There are basically five ways to explain a love to a child (Gary Chapman). It is best to use them all, every day:
Body contact: Caress and kiss your child several times a day or make friends with him if you both like it better.
Gifts: These are not big or expensive gifts, but the little things. Show your child a beautiful stone and give it to him. Behind it is a ritual: I give you something, you can keep it.
Time for two: children love their parents and want to be with them. Especially appreciate the time that only belongs to them. Take your time - just for your child. Play with him, read something, go outside. The duration is less important than the intensity.
Protection and Help: Be there when your child needs you, but leave it alone when you feel it can cope. Your child needs your safety and feels your love when you realize that it needs help and then give it support.
Praise: A serious praise keeps your child moving in his development, and at the same time it senses your attention and love. They are important to him and are happy with him.
Education with love
Where there is love and trust between parent and child, education is usually no big deal anymore. Obedience usually follows almost by itself. Because a child wants to please, it wants to be loved and does a lot to achieve that goal. It is important that the required basic trust exists and that praise has a significantly higher share in the educational work than criticism or even punishment. The feeling of love arises when a child feels that the parents like it and are positive about it, even if it does not behave properly or makes a mistake.
By the way: to love his child does not have to do with pampering. Love and time for the child does not make it dependent and demanding, but on the contrary, it ensures that a child ventures out into the world because it knows there is a place where it feels protected and loved.
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