Welcome to my seemingly endless journey.
A trip that will take you to places I might have visited many moons ago.
It´s a tale that came back to me when I meditated on one of my past lives. A life I told you about in my unbelievable true story.
As promised in that story I will now share this story with you.
Chapter 44
Numico crawls on his hands and knees to the edge of the barrier. His eyes peer into the darkness, and soon he stands up and disappears out of sight.
There she sits, her nightgown is the only thing she is wearing. This is probably to avoid arousing suspicion. If she were discovered, she would have gone to the outhouse. Which is not much more than a clearing at the edge of the forest, but a safe excuse.
Numico takes his blanket of animal skins and wraps it around the young woman. “Thank you, gentlemen. My name is Cabilah. I didn't expect you to wait, but my uncle went to sleep very late. You should know that this man has taken care of me for years. My parents were murdered years ago during a nighttime robbery in the village where we lived. My mother gave her life so that I could escape."
"She had me in her arms. We ran towards the forest but were soon overtaken by the horses. Before she reached us, my mother managed to hide me in the shadow of a huge rock and then ran on alone. The leader of the three cut her off, followed by two other men. He forced her to the ground, and she resisted fiercely. The men were all focused on Mom, and I could not do anything. I wanted to, I wanted to scream an bite them, but instead, I ran."
"I looked back once, against the glow of our burning village I saw the silhouette of one of the men seemingly sitting on top of what I supposed was my mother.”
The tears that had been welling up in her eyes for some time begin to flow, causing her to gasp and swallow for a moment before she can continue.
“The only person in this world I knew was my uncle, my mother's brother. We had been with him once when he was sick, and mother had nursed him. Day and night I ran, afraid that those men were still following me. I didn't dare to sleep at night. Couldn´t stop to eat. Every now and then I had a drink, my eyes always kept focused on the area where I expected the horses to come from at any moment. Exhausted and starving, I collapsed on our doorstep a few days later. I saw my uncle come out, and then it went black.”
"He's a strangely cruel man, but I have no choice. Over the years, I toil to fulfill every wish he can come up with. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be better for me to be killed too, because the debt I owe my uncle is a burden I can hardly bear."
"Yes, he feeds and clothes me all these years, if that can be called clothing. Yes, he provides a roof over my head and a fire to warm me in the winter. The thing it costs me is my life. Everything is about him, his wishes, and his whims."
"Taking care of the animals, keeping the hut clean, fetching water, mending clothes, maintaining the vegetable garden, cooking food, clearing the dishes, collecting wood, and any other jobs I am suitable for."
"From an early age, I was harshly punished for the slightest mistake. My uncle is a hunter, a very unfriendly one. He sets traps that are not immediately fatal, but that make the animals suffer, preferably for as long as possible. He takes pleasure in that. The same goes for me; he prefers to make me suffer. I had sleepless nights knowing was thinking about a suitable punishment, again,” that last part comes as a whisper.
“Haven't you ever tried to run away? Any existence has to be better than this,” I ask her.
“Yes, often enough. But my uncle is not stupid; the nearest villages are two to three days' walk away. In all those years, I've only been there twice, I know nobody there. And a girl alone in the streets at night might be worse off than I am here."
"My uncle denies me any form of communication with the outside world. If I didn't sing, I would never have to use my voice. No one I know in these parts, in this world, really. There is no one who knows who I am or that I exist."
"But even that didn't stop me from escaping. Unfortunately, my uncle is a great hunter and also a very good tracker. No matter how hard I tried, he always found my trail. Even if I escaped at night, he would catch up with me before noon. He has a beautiful horse, my great and only love in this life."
"He is a fiery stallion, black as night and swift as ravens. But like I said, my uncle is not stupid. He left the care to me, but I am forbidden to prepare the animal. And he always keeps the stable locked."
"Of course, I thought about stealing the key and riding it bareback when he was sleeping. But I can´t ride and this horse is feisty, still I would have tried if the punishments for trying to escape were not...," she goes silent.
"Sirs, you would not believe it. These punishments he designed to ensure that I would avoid escaping. Anything that could serve as an escape aid triggered retribution more severely than any stupidity ever did. The swing I built required me to sleep standing up for three nights because of the rope I used."
"He made it very clear to me that I owed everything to him. It was taught to me every day that a good-for-nothing person like me could consider herself lucky that someone in this world cares about her."
"Trust me, sirs, I did not believe that as my Mom raised me well, but when you hear this so many times and no one else speaks, you start to believe in it, act like it, and ultimately accept your fate. Until that day another man came along. I didn't know him, but I was supposed to sleep outside with the animals."
"Curious about who this stranger was, I hid under the window so that their voices could be clearly heard through the cracks. As night fell, the men became noisier."
My uncle was boasting, to say the least, about how he managed it. How everything was done for him, and how at night he thought about new punishments and couldn't wait for me to make a mistake. How he was proud that these years of physical pain and mental abuse had broken me so easily, making me all his."
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