My (Emotional) Day At Home In Croatia

When I moved from Croatia to Serbia, I couldn't wait for summer break to go to Croatia for a week or even longer. A lot of families who moved away still had their houses left and they would come during the summer so us, kids, would still get to play and have some company. As we grew older, our visits were less frequent. Sometimes it would pass a couple of years from my last visit and it would usually be just for one day.

And that's what happened this time, it's been a little bit over 2 years since my last visit and we were there for one day only but when I came, I had a feeling I wasn't there in ages. These visits carry a mix of emotions every time I go, but yesterday I got really, really emotional and I still think about it. Seems like, as I'm getting older, I also get so much more emotional, in every aspect of my life, if that makes sense.

Living in Serbia for the past 20 years, I definitely consider this my home - our house, the place where I live, my family and friends are here, this is where I went to school and University and kind of built my life. I always carried good memories from my time in Croatia, even though we didn't have a lot and after the war situation wasn't great, now I am realizing how we appreciated small, simple things and it's those simple things and people who make memories that will last forever.

As I was walking up and down my street, I tried to remember as many things, people and situations I could and re-live those memories. I remember my neighbor who was like a grandma to me and her daughter who I used to call my sister. I spent a lot of my time with them and the woman I used to call my sister, I haven't seen for a very long time, it's been more than 10 years and I got to see her yesterday. I always thought that I wouldn't even recognize her but when I heard her voice, it's like nothing changed. Seeing her was very emotional for me.

And then, memories, one after another started to flow... I remembered how I used to ride my bike, the place where I fell chasing the cat, all the older people who passed away, the place where me and my mom went every morning to buy bread and other necessities... When we got busy with work in our backyard, my thoughts kind of slowed down but I still had this overwhelming feeling that I'm still carring with me.

I also realized how lucky I am two have two places I can call home, two houses and it's really a blessing. Even though there a lot of abandoned houses, covered in tall grass in the place I used to live in Croatia, since most young or middle-age people left, looking for a better life, especially after war and most of the people who stayed are old people, and they pass away so there's no one to keep the life going. The loneliness and silence of abandoned, small place can be really creepy. During the spring and summer it's more managable but during the cold months, I don't know if I would be able to spent a lot of time there.

With that being said, I hope I will go there again in the spring time, because me and my mom would like to deep-clean the house and also do a little bit of cleaning outside, fix a few things, make it look a little bit better. It's hard to maintain the house when no one lives there for many years. I was never really interested in doing all these things until now so I'm looking forward to see what we can do about it.