This is the 6th part of my series post about Filipino jokes translated for Western audiences. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4 and part 5 if you haven't read them already.
This one took awhile to post because I got sick and was busy at work. Well, better late than never.
There are still many more funny jokes that need translating. These jokes are the products of Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.
So enjoy and Steem on!
Religious
DAD: Is your boyfriend a good man?
DAUGHTER: Yes, Dad.
DAD: Is he God-fearing?
DAUGHTER: Yes, Dad.
DAD: Where is he now?
DAUGHTER: Oh, He's at church performing the Holy Mass!
Greedy
JOHN: Hey, what's that? Pineapples! Can I have some?
PETER: Give you some? Where were you when I was planting these under the heat of the sun? During the tedious work days of irrigation, harvesting, and transport, huh? Where were you???
JOHN: I was in prison...FOR KILLING A GREEDY MAN.
PETER: Oh, why didn't you say so! Here, have some pineapples! I got some jackfruit too!
The Fly
JOE: Oh, Waiter! There's a fly in my noodle soup!
WAITER: Umm, Sir...it's because our noodle soup is so delicious and famous that even flies would like to have a taste!
Lost Little Bird
One day, a priest's little pet bird managed to escape its cage and got lost. The priest decided to announce about his beloved little pet bird during Mass in order to get help...
PRIEST: My brethren, who among you got a bird?
All the men stood up...
PRIEST: I mean, who's seen a bird?
All the women stood up...
PRIEST: I meant, WHO HAS SEEN MY BIRD???
A nun stood up...
A Mighty Hunter
3 Drunk friends were talking about their grandfathers' hunting skills.
JOHN: Bro, my grandpa can bring home 5 wild boars while hunting in the forest.
PETER: Dude, my gramps can kill 10 wild boars while hunting!
THOMAS: Guys, that's nothing! My grandpappy brings home a dead dragon everytime he's hunting in the forest!
JOHN AND PETER: You're joking, dragons don't exist!
THOMAS: That's because my grandpappy hunted them all to extinction!
Passed
DAD: Honey, why are you crying?
TEEN DAUGHTER: Dad, I passed!
DAD: Why, that's great! What exam?
TEEN DAUGHTER: PREGNANCY TEST!
Pregnant
LADY: Friend, can I stay for a while? I ran away from home because I got pregnant.
WIFE: You should go to the man who got you pregnant!
LADY: Friend, you are right! Is your husband home?
Senior Citizens
An elderly couple were having breakfast in bed after making love the night before.
GRANNY: Wow, amazing! I still feel hot for you!
GRANDPA: Your boob is dipping in my cofee, dear!
Wrong One
Woman carrying a sick baby enters the Doctor's office.
DOCTOR: Bottlefed?
WOMAN: Oh, he's breastfed.
Doctor stands up and squeezes the woman's breasts repeatedly...
DOCTOR: There's the problem. You got no milk.
WOMAN: Doc, I'm just the babysitter!
Grief
GIRL: Heard your girlfriend just died?
BOY: (grieving) Yes, it was an accident.
GIRL: Can I...Can I be the one to REPLACE HER?
BOY: Why, yes, if the funeral home allows it.
GIRL: DAMN YOU, YOU BASTARD!
Sources: http://www.jokespinoy.com/
http://pinoytagalogjokes.tumblr.com/
Image Sources: Google Images for noncommercial use
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