Mrs. Mary looked down on me, she didn't treat me the same way she treated my other siblings. I was "weird" I didn't ride horses or herd cattle, I didn't get involved in "manly" things or play dominoes in the afternoons, much less chew tobacco or anything like that. My dad said I was "weak" and always looked at me with suspicion.
The one who didn't seem to mind was my mom, she never had any problems and to a certain extent I think she identified with me. My parents had a family of 6 sons, there were no women and the ones there were were maids who had no style. Machismo prevailed at that time, so my mom found in me the company of a friend.
She taught me to read the magazines of the heart on the sly, my dad on the other hand bought me "macho" magazines like the horse racing report and the sports specials. I read everything, I knew everything and I could talk about everything, but I always knew that the countryside was not my destiny. I dreamed differently, I wanted to be a city man, I wanted to be more than cows and horses.
La señora Mary me miraba con desprecio, no me trataba igual que a mis otros hermanos. Yo era "raro" no montaba caballos ni arreaba el ganado, no me involucraba en cosas de "hombres" ni jugaba domino en las tardes, mucho menos mascaba tabaco ni nada por él estilo. Mi papá decía que era "débil" y siempre me miró con sospecha.
La que parecía no importarle era a mi mamá, ella nunca tuvo problemas y hasta cierto punto creo que se sentía identificada conmigo. Mis padres tuvieron una familia de 6 hijos varones, no había mujeres y las que habían era sirvientas que no tenían estilo. El machismo imperaba en aquella época, así que mi mamá encontró en mi la compañía de un amigo.
Ella me enseñó a leer las revistas del corazón a hurtadillas, mi papá por su parte me compraba revistas de "machos" como el reporte hípico y las especiales de deportes. Yo leía todo, conocía de todo y podía hablar de todo, pero siempre supe que el campo no era mi destino. Yo soñaba distinto, yo quería ser un hombre citadino, yo quería ser más que vacas y caballos.
My father was frustrated, but I guess he found consolation in his other sons. They were not "the black sheep", I had earned that role, I had no competition since my brothers were happy living that life. Not me, I was not content to watch the horizon getting lost among the cornfields, besides, the countryside was a hostile place for a young homosexual.
The other men made fun of me when my brothers or my parents were not there, they called me "faggot" and made fun of my father saying that after having been such a womanizer he had given birth to a "sodomite" son as a punishment. They also said that I had "spoiled" the family and they spat at me, pushed me and sometimes even touched me.
But not Simon. Simon was different from everyone else. He never abused me or my trust and whenever he could he defended me even from his own mother, Mary, who was implacable even with her children. She looked at our friendship with distrust, but there was nothing she could do since we were determined that no matter what happened, nothing would separate us.
Mi padre sentía frustración, pero supongo que encontró consolación en sus otros hijos. Ellos no eran "la oveja negra" ese papel me lo había ganado yo a pulso, no tenía competencia ya que mis hermanos estaban felices viviendo aquella vida. Yo no, yo no me conformaba viendo el horizonte perdiéndose entre los maizales, además el campo era un lugar hostil para un joven homosexual.
Los demás hombres se burlaban de mí cuando no estaban mis hermanos o mis padres, me llamaban "marica" y se burlaban de mi papá diciendo que después de haber sido tan mujeriego le había salido un hijo "sodomita" como castigo. También decían que yo había echado a "perder" a la familia y me escupían, me empujaban y a veces hasta me tocaban.
Pero, Simón no. Simón era distinto a todos. Él nunca abuso de mi o de mi confianza y siempre que podía me defendía hasta de su propia madre, Mary quien era implacable hasta con sus hijos. Ella miraba con desconfianza nuestra amistad, pero nada podía hacer ya que estábamos resueltos a qué pasará lo que pasará nada iba a separarnos.
Only that friendship turned into passion and the cows were witnesses of that in the corral. That place was safe, Roberta the cow would never tell on us, but old Mary, as cunning as a snake, was suspicious of our encounters and one day she caught us in the middle of a task that for her was forbidden. Simon defended us both, however, his mother threatened him and if he didn't stop his affair with me she was going to tell my father about our relationship.
That upset me, if my dad found out he would send me to a boarding school and I would never see Simon again. Before I could hatch a plan to escape, his mother sent him to military service and did not let him say goodbye to me, on the contrary, she intercepted a letter that her son had sent me and burned it, taking my first love with him forever.
My mom knew about the situation because of my depression, she would do nothing but cry. However, college would finally arrive in the summer and with it would go the naivety of those years. Old Mary hated me with good reason, her son was a "freak" like me and he would also be my first love. Simon, my beautiful Simon took my heart.
Solo que esa amistad se volvió pasión y las vacas fueron testigos de eso en el corral. Ese lugar era seguro, la vaca Roberta nunca nos delataría, pero la vieja Mary astuta como una serpiente sospechaba de nuestros encuentros y en un día de tantos nos atrapó en medio de una faena que para ella era prohibida. Simón nos defendió a ambos, sin embargo, su mamá lo amenazó y si no paraba su romance conmigo le iba a contar a mi papá nuestra relación.
Aquello me descolocó, si mi papá se enteraba me enviaría a un internado y nunca más volvería a ver a Simón. No sucedió ni una cosa ni la otra, antes de que pudiera fraguar un plan para escaparnos su mamá lo envío a cumplir servicio militar y no dejó que se despidiera de mí, al contrario, interceptó una carta que su hijo me había enviado y la quemó, llevándose para siempre a mi primer amor.
Mi mamá supo la situación debido a mi depresión, no hacía más que llorar. Sin embargo, la universidad llegaría finalmente en verano y con ella se iría la ingenuidad de aquellos años. La vieja Mary me odiaba con razón, su hijo era un "raro" como yo y también sería mi primer amor. Simón, mi hermoso Simón se llevó mi corazón.
Another posts that may interest you | Otras de mis publicaciones que quizás te interesen:
| ACTION CONTEST - JAMES CAMERON THE TERMINATOR |  |
|---|---|
| La Verja |  |
| Tranquilidad en alquiler |  |
Source of the image on the cover- Fuente de la Imagen en portada
Translated by me & also using Deepl